r/MadeMeSmile • u/TheDigitalBuilder • 1d ago
Family & Friends This is how you build a community
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u/animalmasochism 1d ago edited 1d ago
To bring this down to earth, my partner and I try to do something similar. We, just the two of us, always (always) have pancakes on Saturdays. Recently, when we have the time and energy and schedules line up, we try to invite two other people to our pancake brunch. It's nice, super informal, fun, light-hearted, and best of all, cheap.
I read most of these comments on this r/MadeMeSmile post and saw most/all were pretty cynical. No judgement, I was thinking the same things. It's interesting that an objectively nice video about doing something as human as eating and building community can spur so much cynicism but it's no doubt a reflection of our times. I agree with the comments about disposable income and privilege for the most part but keep in mind, despite who you are, where you're from, how much you have, we all still need connection.
I'm waxing poetic this morning, whatever, this video reads oblivious millennial suburbanite, fine. Through all that, don't get too cynical to remind the people, person, or critters in your life you love them.
And if you don't have any people or critters in your life to love, no one will hand them to you, unfortunately. You gotta make those connections yourself which is what she's doing.
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u/the-watch-dog 1d ago edited 1d ago
Me and my wife have done something similar for years, but monthly, and was always great. We'd text everyone the day before to loosely check how many were coming just to know how to setup. I'd cook spaghetti, garlic bread, and some other random app (like caprese or something easy). Everyone had to bring booze and anything else they wanted to consume or share. Some days it was 5 of us and some days it was 35. Had no idea until people showed up but 2 loaves of bread and $10 of pasta fed ALOT of people. Just dont take it so damn seriously and pretend those people BELONG in your house and it gets really really easy.
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u/YoHabloEscargot 1d ago edited 1d ago
We tried that bimonthly. It went well a few times. Then I got excited about the next one because it was my birthday weekend, and I looked forward to just being among friends. Every individual backed out last minute. And as much as I tried to be chill and casual about it, that shit stung.
I’ll never do that again.
EDIT: All the downvotes for this? Well fuck me twice, I guess. Surely I’ll get numb at some point.
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u/the-watch-dog 22h ago
My best advice is: just make dinner and tell people you'll feed them for free. Dont make "an event". It's just a normal dinner that you let people show up to. And keep the menu simple.
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u/YoHabloEscargot 21h ago
That was deliberately our approach, but ironically, I think the casualness of it made people not feel bad about skipping.
Momentum is also a bitch. If one or two people back out, there’s like a sudden panic to jump ship and not be the last man standing.
And yeah, to the other person’s comment, I don’t know how good of friends these are in the long run, but this was our effort to turn lightly casual friends into just a bit more. It’s really hard to have meaningful friendships in adulthood.
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u/the-watch-dog 21h ago
😩 well i hate that. Our friend group was fairly robust and it was a way to make a fixed point for people to cross paths since planning was a nightmare, not so much a "making a new thing" which i could genuinely see as a problem. I hope you can reboot with people who actually want to share a meal! It's not the easiest and i wish you a future HAPPY BIRTHDAY no matter who you cut cake with. Maybe someone else will become host and you can reap the benefits one day. 🖤
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u/YoHabloEscargot 20h ago
I hope you’re not a bot because you’re a fantastic human
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u/the-watch-dog 20h ago
Very real. I'll be on the front lines of the [pick your favorite dystopian novel] battle against the bots. (As a Dune fan "the thinking machines" are going down). Oh and being kind is free so i spend as much as i can. 😘
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u/thateccentricasian 21h ago
I reckon it’s fair for her to want her friends to care about her birthday. Unfortunately they were not her friends, they were just casual companions. It’s okay to want better friends and to keep trying to find them and be a better friend ourselves.
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u/sumgamunga 13h ago
I know what you mean. My wife and I tried just getting someone to show up three times only for them to cancel on us last minute. Worse is the chasing you are having to do that isn't reciprocated.
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u/Thanos_Stomps 1d ago
There are tons of things you can do to build community too. Start a run group. A walking group. Even if you’re not ambulatory, make it inclusive to everyone.
Ironically, people making the snide remarks about disposable income, social groups are becoming increasingly profitable for people. A local run club by me now has people paying him for marketing/sponsoring. You could literally find yourself getting paid for building community.
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u/animalmasochism 19h ago
The income thing is real, I'm certainly not gonna deny that. I've personally had to cut out meals for months at a time to make sure I pay my bills. That kind of thing hits more than your wallet. It's easy to turtle up and stay in your shell to save money (and your sanity). But you're right in that finding a group of people who enjoy at least one thing in common goes a long way and can totally flip someone's social situation.
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u/raycharles318 1d ago
It really doesn't have to be that hard to build community - it just takes reaching out, being vulnerable, and trying again. Order pizza and invite people to the park, ask folks to bring a dish for pot luck dinner, host a movie night where everyone brings their favorite snack. Once you do it successfully, it can become a routine that works for everyone. People need community - we weren't meant to be alone communicating through screens.
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u/maxd 1d ago
We host family dinner pretty much any day of the week. We’ll text our close friends the menu for the week and anyone who wants to come join is welcome. We host on average 2-3 times a week. It’s pretty low key; we will cook a feast because we love good food, but friends will help clean.
I want to go wider, like in the video, and invite a wider group of people we know, but we haven’t quite got there yet. We can host a dinner of 10 pretty comfortably.
I was a single full time dad for six years and felt incredibly lonely. My family is in another country. Now my wife and I have 4 month old and it seems like the perfect time to build our community through good food.
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u/OneSensiblePerson 23h ago
I think I'm going to stop reading the comments with your comment. Seems surprising to me there are a lot of cynical comments on a sub called Made Me Smile. Probably is a reflection of the times, but it's given me food for thought.
Community really is important. As human beings, we need and thrive on it.
I can't do it once a week, and it may not be dinner, but I like her attitude of doing something even if it's just occasional.
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u/Illustrious-Engine23 20h ago
Yeah man, I meet with my parents 2 times a week (my mum helps with the chores in the house because my wife is on cancer meds that lower her energy and so we want her not doing chores and resting so my mum helps with the chores).
After we have a coffee and tea and chat, go for a walk, just talk. I also call and message them regularly.
On most sundays I either go out for the day with friends (movies, meal etc) or they just come down to hang out.
our team at work almost always go to lunch together at lunch, no phones, and just chat.
It's just nice man having friends and family and regularly spending time with them, I think it's good for the soul.
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u/Silly_Budget_7615 1d ago
I’m impressed anyone said yes. Getting my friends to do anything is like pulling fucking teeth. I’d just be eating dinner alone every week with a pile of “sorry can’t make it” texts.
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u/jolbina 1d ago
Same, our friends are pretty flaky. I was also wondering this during the video until she said “all of our friends have kids”… then it makes sense. As someone who is the only family in our friend group with kids I can tell you… it makes a big difference. Would have to reach into the “kind of strangers” bucket pretty regularly
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u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
She did mention that they started inviting acquaintances. A good place to start is the parent of some of your kids friends.
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u/wakaOH05 1d ago
I think that’s a big part of why they had 70 unique visitors and so many acquaintances.
I’ve been branching out myself with new friends and joined a new pool league. My friends were getting flaky and some of them just want to party/get fucked up all night.
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u/Yes-Cheese 1d ago
I guess you’d just have to keep trying until you find people who say yes. My friend hosts a monthly themed game night potluck. The same 10 or so people show up consistently, others come as they can. We all look forward to seeing each other and we have a great time. She’s had times where everyone cancels last minute. But she keeps hosting them. And I’m thankful that she does. My social life was dead before she started inviting me over. Thanks to her, I’ve built a community of people I would have never had before this. Now I’m thinking about hosting a monthly dinner or movie night because of how much her gathering has helped my life feel fuller.
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u/cire1184 13h ago
Yall got 10 friends that meet regularly? That's pretty awesome and I think rare after a certain age.
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u/Yes-Cheese 13h ago
I agree! And I haven’t been in the area too long so I have like 4 close friends and they all live in other places. So her bringing me into their group has been wonderful.
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u/ready_gi 7h ago
sounds awesome and one night a month sounds very doable. i'm trying to build up the courage for hosting and do this kind of thing.
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u/veggie151 1d ago
I hit the age where I'm cycling those people out
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u/gerbilshower 23h ago
right, my response wants to be "get new friends". but that's kinda rude. it is the truth though.
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u/Roxy_j_summers 1d ago
You can’t count on just your close friends to participate in this. You’d really need to reaching out and meeting new people.
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u/answerguru 22h ago
That’s why they’re inviting new people, because some of our friends will always be flakey. All people aren’t flakey though.
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u/notoolinthispool 22h ago
Do you have kids? It sounds like it probably helps to have kids. You could use it as an excuse to keep your kids occupied while you mingle with other adults.
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u/Silly_Budget_7615 9h ago
It’s only helpful to have kids if you’re straight, which I’m not. My entire friend group is queer and none of us have kids.
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u/dreamdaddy123 18h ago
I’d come over dinner with my gf if you allow us. Don’t think I’ve ever come to my friends house for dinner in my life before. For drinks yh but dinner not really.
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u/petielvrrr 12h ago
It’s the kids that make it easy. When you have little kids, dinner is almost always sometime between 5-630. Like, youre going to eat it at that time unless you have something very out of the ordinary going on, so doing it at someone else’s house honestly isn’t that challenging, as long as its at that time.
I’m a single person who lives alone, but spends like 70% of my free time helping my mom raise my 3 year old nephew. On the days I’m at my house, dinner happens when it happens. It could be 5, but it could also be 8 or 9. I don’t really plan it (well, I plan what I’m eating, just not when). When I’m at my mom’s, dinner is at 5. If it’s not on the table by 6, the child is having a meltdown because he’s hungry (and 3 year olds still struggle with telling you they’re hungry. Mainly because their brain doesn’t register that hunger is what’s causing the irritation).
At my mom’s house, going somewhere else for dinner just means we don’t have to cook anything lol. It’s also pretty common that we invite family or friends over for dinner, because we know we’re eating at 5, and we know they’re eating at 5, so why not just do it together?
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u/TacticalWhimsy 6h ago
You don’t have any friends. You have acquaintances. Get some friends, you deserve them.
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u/Secure_Damage3067 1d ago edited 1d ago
She describing community. It plays a big part and why some of us feel our society is faulting and some of us don’t. Some of us have community and some of us don’t.
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u/Suspicious-Aside2704 1d ago
Anyone in the UK? Wanna come over for dinner? More rice and beans here. We are veggie lol.
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u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
I wish I was in the UK. Maybe knock on your neighbor's door and see if they're interested?
I think that's what this video is all about
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u/hamsolo19 1d ago
My neighbor approached me menacingly and with a weed whacker for simply looking over the fence....
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u/gerbilshower 23h ago
my neighbor dumps her vacuum cleaner cannister out over the top of our shared fence...lol.
edit : into my yard if that wasnt clear
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u/fractalfrog 1d ago
Germany is checking in with even more rice and beans, as they are delicious. Come by any time! (We are whole-food plant-based.)
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u/agreenbridge 1d ago
I can’t afford to feed myself. Anyone wanna come around next Saturday for beans and rice?
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u/Few-Specialist5317 1d ago
Can I bring tortillas?
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u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
Bingo. Potlucks work too
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u/Few-Specialist5317 1d ago
Also got a killer regional salsa called Skip's. Reminds me of Mom's homemade stuff. Who's up for bringing tamales?
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u/eggscumberbatch16 21h ago
Making tamales is a group activity and y'all better start in the morning if you're having them for dinner!
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u/J0in0rDie 8h ago
Beautiful response. I often complain about not having a village but it’s not a one way street.
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u/chantillylace9 1d ago
Do a potluck! My parents do something very similar to what this girl does and have legitimately transformed the entire neighborhood.
They went door-to-door and handed out invitations and I mean not in a rude way but they were basically as pushy as possible that please please please come to our party, bring something to eat and we will have fun together.
At the very least stop in and say hi, you do not have to bring something if that's a problem, but we just want to get to know you!
They have done Christmas party or Halloween parties and always do at least one dress up party a year.
I decided that it was a really good idea to have name tags because then we got to know everybody. That went over really really well!
I made the most amazing hot chocolate bar ever and people loved it, my parents set up some hammer schloggen type game where people try to hammer nails into this big piece of wood, I have no idea what the heck that's about but the guys really loved it!
There was music and you could go in the hot tub or the pool, it was just such a great party.
There were people from hippie aged very old ladies all the way to Hispanic multigenerational family that was from probably the ages of 6 to 85!
One of the ladies that was invited, one of the older ladies, told me that she had been there for years and had not met any of the neighbors and that this was the best day of her life.
She said that she made sure to sit by the food and booze so that she got to meet everybody. She came by a couple days later and dropped off some Christmas cookies and a thank you note and it was just so sweet. She said this literally changed her whole life.
I really did find it super cute and since they are in South Florida, there are lots of hurricanes and it has literally made the community a community. Now they help one another after a hurricane, my parents were out of town during the worst hurricane and everyone stepped in to help take care of their house.
This is what communities should really look like. And it's not that hard, it's obviously not that hard to create. You just have to be open and kind hearted and give it a shot!
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u/Seconds_Left 1d ago
What a good story. Thanks for sharing!
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u/chantillylace9 22h ago
My mom is a pretty awesome woman who has an amazing things for the world. She is somebody who will never admit it, but when she leaves this world she will definitely leave it much better than when it was before her.
We would take in temporary foster kids when I was young, we went to soup kitchens and donated half of our new toys two children's shelters and just did a lot of different things that I think really helped soften our hearts and make us good people you know? I think a lot of parents are missing out on that and are not teaching their children how incredibly lucky and spoiled they are. Most kids really just don't know, and it's the parents job to show them what the rest of the world can look like.
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u/JetLife93 1d ago
Let's go! I'll bring the salsa!
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u/Few-Specialist5317 20h ago
Better be Skip's Salsa or they're gonna be calling for a rope. /s (Ancient Pace picante sauce commercial)
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u/HotBoxButDontSmoke 1d ago
This is really sweet. I like making an effort to know my community but rarely host potluck dinners. However walking my dog daily helped me make so many connections with my neighbors and it makes my morning and evening brighter
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u/backyardstar 1d ago
This is beautiful and good, and not that expensive. All the people negging this idea should instead honestly admit that building relationships like this is a healthy, human approach to life.
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u/NiftyJet 1d ago
To me it's just normal. Like, when did this become some radical concept?
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u/ready_gi 7h ago
i think since after covid. but i agree, inviting people over for dinner is like what humans always done, in caves and all.
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u/musabbb 1d ago
Actually its super expensive - have you ever hosted a barbecue?
If you invite 10 people
You could easily spend 500 bucks a month
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u/answerguru 22h ago
So host regular meals that aren’t a barbecue. Keep it simple - it’s about making connection and food is just the mechanism
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u/bongo1138 1d ago
Don’t invite 10 people lol. And that’s BS. If you’re spending $500 it’s because you’re choosing to spend that much, which is fine, but hotdogs and burgers with sodas and a mac salad for 10 people might run you $50. Spend another $10 and get some corn.
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u/threearbitrarywords 23h ago
Judging by the comments, she seems blessed to not have anyone in her sphere that's a Redditor.
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u/TheDigitalBuilder 23h ago
The sad thing is, some of commenters would be the best benefactors of an invite to this sort of dinner.
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u/silentvisuals 1d ago
I’ve done this every Sunday for the past 10 years with my friends. It’s a staple of our lives hahaha
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u/thateccentricasian 21h ago
What a lovely thing to do. I’m struggling to pay rent for my room currently, but I hope in time I manage to afford my own place and a pet, and one day do what you do! You and your friends are so blessed.
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u/silentvisuals 21h ago
I moved here 10 years ago and was homesick and missed my Sunday family dinners so we started doing it then.
It’s grown so much and people do it whether I’m there or not.
On the money part, we quite literally divide the cost and Venmo for it. Felt a little lame initially but with food costs and such it allows us to still eat really well without any one person eating the whole cost!
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u/cc882 1d ago
She only provides a link to the Substack, but here’s the actual listing from the Saturday night dinners
https://amandalitman.substack.com/p/our-year-of-saturday-dinners
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u/MvatolokoS 1d ago
I've been screaming this. Rebuilding the sense of community destroys fascism!. It can only thrive through individualism that comes from the stress (financial and otherwise) that they keep us under. When we connect it changes the way we perceived the information we pass along. Those conversations show us who we ar einstead of hearing it from s politician who has special interests in your personal life being solitary.
Please people, I plead for the loved ones ther live in fear. For the kids waking up every morning fearing for their parents going to work. For the already anxious and depressed that are crawling through the mud to get through this. Stand up for them by simply CONNECTING with those you usually would have ignored. Sometimes we will meet people we disagree with but you'll see theyre human just like you and me. And you can have a much bigger impact on someone from closeby then by being so far apart from those you disagree with.
This video gave me hope for the day. Let's keep talking. Keep connecting and spreading information that otherwise dies in the comment sections of these posts
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u/PhilthyPunk 1d ago
Most people in the Southern U.S. do this every August thru February, it's called Football season, Roll Tide!
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u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
100%. That's why I find the cynical comments on this suburb post so weird.
Not everyone needs friends but there are people out there that would like some. Just don't know how to get started. That's all this video was about
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u/JstVisitingThsPlanet 1d ago
I just don’t have the energy.
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u/answerguru 22h ago
You just start and the energy of doing it once will propel you forward…just take the first step.
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u/JstVisitingThsPlanet 22h ago
I’m truly an introvert and work in healthcare so I’m constantly talking and listening to other people talk all week. It’s draining mentally, physically, and sometimes emotionally. My days off are for me to regroup and recover. I literally don’t have the energy but thanks for your encouragement.
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u/AlwaysBeQuestioning 21h ago
Dutch person here. I like doing this too!
Though I need people to chip in €7 per person so I can afford the groceries, I do it fairly regularly for game nights or movie nights. It has been a few months now, but I want to do it again. Most people say no though because I don’t live in a city. Or because they don’t like nerdy things. Or because I’m queer.
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u/Sea_Stomach5930 1d ago
Me as Balkan people, dont comprehend.
We had people all over the house all my life.
I’m done with that shit!
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u/Schumacher242 1d ago
I’m so sick of the corporate kleptocracy profiting off of our fear and base aspects of human nature. You don’t have to agree with somebody to be kind in any way shape or form in fact, being truly kind really comes with a idealistic capitulation
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u/NiftyJet 1d ago
It is really sad to me that this is presented as some radical idea. This is just a completely normal thing to do on a Saturday.
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u/leafybugs44 23h ago
me and my friends do this. every sunday. ranging from 10-30 people every week. it has completely shifted our community. yes, it’s hard sometimes but as soon as we’re together we’re always thankful. community is a form of resistance.
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u/Effective_Pie1312 15h ago
I expend an enormous amount of energy to get through each work week and survive. The idea of doing this while theoretically charming would burn me out so fast. Kudos to those that have the ability to do this. Please invite me - happy to be on your calendar once a year.
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u/aaactuary 1d ago
That disposable income hittts
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u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
Yeah, if you're making steaks and shrimp for everyone.
Set up a potluck, there's always a way
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u/fractalfrog 1d ago
Rice and beans ftw! I fking love rice and beans, and it's healthy, and it's cheap, and you get to hang out with people. Win-win-win-win.
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u/NakedJaked 1d ago
It’s far cheaper to buy and cook in bulk than it is to cook for only one or two people.
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u/twisted-logic 1d ago
I’m saying lol. “Oh everything’s more expensive, how about you add a couple extra mouths to your table to feed?”
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u/HotBoxButDontSmoke 1d ago
When you are struggling, that's when you need community the most. Make it a potluck. Having people over for dinner is not a lifestyle flaunt
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u/thateccentricasian 21h ago
I think it’s funny when you assume some of us even have our own space, I share a living space with at least 4 other strangers. I really wish I had the space to host. And yes, it is a privilege I do not have currently.
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u/HotBoxButDontSmoke 21h ago
You can sit outside, or are you going to tell me finding a place to sit and okay weather is a privilege too?
Y'all are really stretching for that victim status. It's about building friendships and community. You can opt out if you like.
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u/norwal42 23h ago
Among friends (many also with young kids), we jokingly call "crappy dinner parties". There are rules to keep expectations low... minimal planning - eat what you've got around, leftovers, or order in... maybe grab something you've got on hand to share, or not. Minimal/no cleaning up the house in advance.
If we felt we had to hit higher hosting expectations, none of us make the call.
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u/Icy_Replacement_8998 22h ago
Hi! We have done this every Friday night for about 12 years now. Keep going! It’s so wonderful to all grow together. ❤️
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u/Deep_Joke3141 22h ago
I love to cook and host dinner for friends and neighbors as well. My wife doesn’t like having people over unless she knows them very well and even that is stressful for her. It kinda sucks because we miss out on forming new relationships.
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u/Plumbus_Patrol 15h ago
Wow I really just watched this whole thing, gut said turn it off after 5 seconds and was right
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u/CarlJustCarl 15h ago
Not for me. I don’t want to attend, don’t want to host. Go pickup trash in the park? Yes. Plant flowers for the elderly, yes.
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u/Boocraft 14h ago
We do this every other Sunday, but the only difference is we make Pakistani breakfast and it's open invite, so anyone whose interested can stop by.
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u/CopeHarderDweller2 10h ago
I don’t think people realize you must already have a thriving community of friends and acquaintances if you can have people over all 52 weeks of the year. Not to mention most people could not afford this as hosting can get expensive. And I find it impossible to believe they didn’t have cancellations. Try planning anything even with friends these days is hard enough with people being flaky so there’s no way even acquaintances showed up every time.
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u/78Anonymous 18h ago
the whole time just waiting for the pitch, and there it was
just saying, normal social behaviour doesn't need a substack reference or a document to download
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u/United_Intention_323 1d ago
This video is weird. She didn’t describe the positive part of this effort at all, only the negative. Seems like she didn’t enjoy it all that much.
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u/S0k0n0mi 23h ago
My saturday ritual is takeout dinner and silence.
Not having to talk to someone for an entire day is a treat to me.
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u/espresso_martini__ 1d ago edited 1d ago
Why do people feel the need to make everything they do into a video clip. Being truly giving is doing it without having to advertise it.
I can tell people actually believe she did this by just off a photo of food.
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u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
This video has nothing to do with giving. It has to do with building a community.
If more people did stuff like this, I'm quite positive the world would be a better place
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1d ago edited 1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
She might be. The fact that she wrote an article about it is pretty telling, but it's still a good idea
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u/Secure_Damage3067 1d ago
You’re giving people a lot of credit. Many people need things explained to them for them to understand. I’m learning this more and more everyday.
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u/Traptimus-Pr1me 23h ago
I do a lot of cooking for friends and family, and it honestly feels weird how infrequent other people that are almost 40 don’t have friends over for dinner. Unless I cook or it’s a group of 15 people at a restaurant, we don’t see each other.
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u/United_Assistance_60 9h ago
I have been getting Amanda Litman’s Run for Something emails for probably 8 years at this point. I had no idea she’s so young. She has done an amazing job recruiting local candidates nationwide, and I am absolutely amazed she’s had two kids and hosted 52+ dinners in that time, too.
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u/MoosesHuman 6h ago
This sounds lovely, I would love to try it - and it sounds like they don't have the same people every week, I'd probably just have my mum. Really though, 52 weeks? As in nobody ever cancelled last minute? That's not the mum friend group I know.
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u/raumeat 1d ago
All I could think is these people are either very rich or living way below their means. Hosting people aint cheap
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u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
It's not cheap. I think it's more the concept of inviting people over. Even for coffee, it's just building community.
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u/Denubious 1d ago
Voted in 2 elections? I guess by some measure it does make a person "political". Seems a big commitment in the old US of A.
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u/twisted-logic 1d ago
This is one of the most privileged white people shit I’ve ever seen lmao
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u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
I'm curious. Please explain, how is this a race-based activity?
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u/Suspicious-Aside2704 1d ago
I will also like to know as i am brown. And husband is browner than me and he wanted to do this nearly 2 yrs ago and i said no and i could almost pass for white soooo.
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u/twisted-logic 1d ago
Ever hear the term “white saviour complex” ? That’s how this reads
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u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
I'm not white. And I don't need to be saved, but it doesn't hurt if I build a bigger community than I already have.
Do you only only take away from videos where the person presenting is a POC?
I'm not sure what hurt you. I hope you find peace
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u/twisted-logic 1d ago
Gosh, your condescension and holier than thou attitude sounds like the beginnings of a really incredible community that people would definitely want to be involved with.
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u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
Based on your racist attitude you would never be invited into my community. I have kids and I would never want them exposed to someone that judges based on skin tone and not on the message.
It's not just Caucasians that can be bigots. Look inward my friend and figure you out what's broken in you.
You know what would be a great idea, why don't you have a dinner and invite some Caucasian people so that you can see they're just the same as everyone else.
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u/PlayPsychological200 1d ago
“Being kind and sharing meals is a white people thing” ~ Redditor, 2026
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u/MandyWarHal 1d ago
Lol ... Yeah, DaFuq!? My (black) grandma was generous AF... People streaming in and out of her little tin-roof house all the time and she fed them and gave them coffee in the morning and beer at night, and I have no idea how she did it. She gardened. She stretched her food and it wasn't fancy, but, point is: this is not a privileged white people thing.
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u/PlayPsychological200 1d ago
I am a teacher in a poor area with a mix of students, and one common thing between everyone including staff is shared meals. Someone has chips, sandwiches, cookies, we are sharing it. It was odd to me when I started but I was at my desk eating a baked potato (no time for separate lunch lol) and the students all came around me like the Seagulls from Nemo “mine mine mine” 🤣. After that I either brought enough for everyone or brought in an air fryer and sack of russets and condiments and we made a shared lunch 🤣
It brings everyone closer and there is a huge exchange of micro and macro cultures.
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u/BZA_Blaze 1d ago
Username checks out.
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u/twisted-logic 1d ago
Redditors and their boundless creativity for jokes. Never heard that one before, very original
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u/Prolapse94 1d ago
I don't think this is a race thing, but I do believe it's a social class thing. I work shift work including nights so I could never do something like this consistently. Maybe once every couple of months then I've got a Saturday off and not being work a night shift. I also don't have a dining area as can only afford a small flat with kitchen and living room combined with no dining area
If you're middle class and 9-5 Mon to Fri with a decent place defo, far more difficult for everyone else
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u/TheCardinal85 22h ago
Having people over for dinner is more political than the whooping 2 times she voted...
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u/siraolo 1d ago
I wish I could talk to like her. So natural on the mike, barely any editing in that A roll. That being said, unfortunately, I'm so introverted, that going to dinner with strangers would probably end up with an awkward silent room. Typing here on Reddit is the best 'talking' I could ever really do.
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u/TheDigitalBuilder 23h ago
Being so so is like any other activity. If you want to get good at it, you got to practice.
This is not meant to diminish your anxiety, it's very difficult to put yourself in these situations but I think there is some benefit at the end of it.
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u/TheCyanKnight 1d ago
In a way it’s depressing that having people over in your spare time should be a eye-opening resolution/content type thing
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u/subdude24 3h ago
Imagine going to a friends house for dinner and then ending up on some blog as it was all some sort exercise
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