r/Unexpected • u/DarthiusFatticus • 6d ago

This dude should definitely be the next God of War

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4.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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u/post-explainer 6d ago edited 6d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

Bro sounds like he's 8ft tall. But he's not.

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

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517

u/paturner2012 6d ago edited 6d ago

Him casually sipping a grape juice hugs is brilliant.

Edit: I've seen enough comments saying little more than "purple drank" I think need to be on record here to say purple drank is a combination of sprite and prescription strength grape flavored codine cough medicine. This dude is clearly sipping a grape flavored hugs juice drink and not mixing anything in a Styrofoam cup. The lack of intoxicants is what truly makes this peak content, don't conflate the two just because of color.

14

u/Fafnir13 6d ago

Corporate ordered so much of those things for our Walgreens.  No one bought them.  No one.  We had more fall and break then ever got sold.  Made a massive mess in the stockroom.  

When it was finally time to get rid of them we had a “throw them as hard as you can against a brick wall” party.  At least one good memory from it.

4

u/paturner2012 6d ago

This is incredible. I love the memory. I am genuinely amazed they still exist.

7

u/sittinwithkitten 6d ago

Grape is my favourite flavour when I get to choose, so delicious.

1

u/Dpontiff6671 3d ago

I prefer the green ones. But I love me some bodega barrels

15

u/RealPropRandy 6d ago

Purple drank

1

u/FLiP_J_GARiLLA 5d ago

Wtf is "hugs"?

That's dat SAT juice right there.

1

u/paturner2012 4d ago

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/81FvWY5ZdxL.jpg

2

u/FLiP_J_GARiLLA 4d ago

They always gave us these during standardized testing in the U.S.

2

u/cat_prophecy 6d ago

I believe you will find it's "purple drank"

289

u/Donkeybrother 6d ago

Shrinkeal O'Neal

40

u/Joe4o2 6d ago

I physically recoiled to this comment. Well done.

35

u/revnhoj 6d ago

Compact shakur

8

u/Candle_Mcdaniel 6d ago

Mini Driver

8

u/pgorgias 6d ago

Michael Clark Dinklage

6

u/KeroNobu 5d ago

Michael Shortan

3

u/Easy-Salamander3288 6d ago

Miniscule O'Neal

93

u/Jesusopfer 6d ago

That voice is golden

180

u/Brick_Number_27 6d ago

Bro sounds big.

42

u/ReaperOne 6d ago

He might be small in size, but he’s giant in our hearts

4

u/TrenchantInsight 6d ago

Big if true!

112

u/Jcrater 6d ago

A black man that can look up to Kevin Hart.

3

u/princewin94 3d ago

Okay I genuinely laughed

31

u/DecadentHam 6d ago

I like his humour

27

u/Fuzzy-Alfalfa770 6d ago

Here's a man who really keeps his chin up.

22

u/pancoste 6d ago

Thing is, if he didn't do all those things to promote his growth, he may have been even shorter than he is now. 

17

u/z3r0n3gr0 6d ago

I though that balcony was at the second floor...

15

u/BrianKappel 6d ago

Don't upset him, he'll jump up and pull your socks down.

7

u/Sea-Tomatillo-4722 6d ago

Little hug for scale

5

u/oliviertail 6d ago

My voice and hehehe

4

u/Depressed_Cat_00 6d ago

You’re big… I’ll leave the typo.

4

u/NukaClipse 6d ago

I was really going for the title because dude got a great voice to play Kratos but then...wow wasn't ready for that.

4

u/NightlyKnightMight 6d ago

Now that's an awesome voice!

3

u/YoungerMucus 6d ago

before the zoom out I would’ve swore this dude was 6’4” 250 with that voice

3

u/Yosemite_Scott 6d ago

Drinking a kids drink .

3

u/jaxspider 6d ago

I knew something was up when it was walking around but not going anywhere.

3

u/DeathByOranges 6d ago

He’s like a human subwoofer

3

u/Alzeric 6d ago

I need him to say "BOY" a few times to make a decision

3

u/Fit_Transition_824 4d ago

Nigga has the voice of an angel

2

u/SweetCornPot 6d ago

My man Totally unexpected nice

2

u/ZatoTBG 6d ago

I can relate, though my length is 1.77 meters, my hands are child sized. The other day I was on a new job assignment and I introduced myself to my new co-worker. I wanted to shake hands but an, it felt like his hand covered mine twice over and my hand dissapeared.

2

u/caalger 6d ago

Got that purple drank too

1

u/borkborkibork 6d ago

It's the Kool aid, dude

1

u/LovableSidekick 6d ago

Sounds like Michael Clark Duncan back from the dead! (Walter's massive lawyer buddy in Finder).

3

u/ferret_80 6d ago

I loved Finder but like, using Finder as the explanation of Michael Clarke Duncan and not like, The Green Mile is wild to me.

2

u/LovableSidekick 5d ago

Never saw Green Mile but I saw Finder. I guess I'm just a wildman.

1

u/AlotaFajita 6d ago

Grape drink

1

u/Sometimes_i_nap 6d ago

Went from Thanos to fun sized snicker so fuckin fast

1

u/jaxspider 6d ago

Dude was built for Voice Acting.

1

u/Acceptable_Owl6926 6d ago

Not the huggy...omg that got me

1

u/mount_chad 6d ago

He better hide from the bay harbour butcherr..

1

u/oneinchhard01 6d ago

Didn't matter what he ate what did Mom smoke

1

u/AmptiShanti 6d ago

“Got took what was left and put me together” made so a spit take

1

u/Thebml21 6d ago

Genetics are undefeated

1

u/Suspected_Magic_User 6d ago

I want this guy's voice in my gps

1

u/Pure-Photograph6209 6d ago

Your the result of a partial pull out

1

u/Lazy_Golf_4519 5d ago

He had that camera angled perfectly! He fooled the hell out of me!

1

u/tony2stocks 5d ago

That dude needs to make money that voice

1

u/DoorAjar33 5d ago

I don’t even know what this guy said. I just know I’d watch animal documentaries with him narrating it.

1

u/CreepyFormaggi 5d ago

He still hot AF though

1

u/brxsoldier 5d ago

Wow is that the og 25 cent juice?

1

u/Carlitos--Way 5d ago

Ain't some bullshit!!!

1

u/Netricho 5d ago

BOOOOOOOoooy...You got me.

1

u/Her_X 5d ago

Oooooh hell no....those mofo got me goooood....the voice.. height. 10/10

1

u/Nausicaalotus 5d ago

Bros got the deepest voice for a person drinking a hug barrel.

1

u/peamupbudder 4d ago

And you got as big and as strong as you were ever going to. My goal way six feet but I fell short

1

u/GalacticMountains 4d ago

An you know "heh heh". Lol.

1

u/Mr_Derp___ 4d ago

Dude's rap name should be Lil Hug

1

u/DraculaLord 4d ago

This is misconception if hadn't eaten all the good foods and drank the milk he would have been smurf height.

1

u/Yellorium 4d ago

The rule was milk till 26, one year short so dam close.

1

u/Ashamed-Attitude-210 4d ago

🤭🤭🤭👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 right!!

1

u/Weak-Statistician519 4d ago

Snackquille O’Neal

1

u/Legitimate-Fix-8936 4d ago

I don't believe for a second he isn't getting all the p****

1

u/Winter-Committee-690 4d ago

Drinking a quarter while you are discussing your growth is hilarious 😂

1

u/Normal-Error-6343 4d ago

this has to be keith david's son!

1

u/SOLORoasis 4d ago

Genetics did that. Not an imaginary person. You are strong.

1

u/Mysterious_Inside_89 4d ago

Boi I thought u was 6’5

1

u/weaselswarm 4d ago

Looking big and strong to me, bro

1

u/Medical_Hurry_7866 4d ago

Perfection, dynamic voice for voice overs in animated movies and games.

1

u/Medical_Hurry_7866 4d ago

Might be because of you drinking that Little Hug Drink, I m just saying.

1

u/TitouanT 3d ago

Need more soup

1

u/SuddenKoala45 3d ago

Whered he find a purple barrel?

1

u/Anxious_Shelter2915 3d ago

It's cow's milk, not whatever milk you've been drinking

1

u/FearlessAnalyst2538 3d ago

They got you for sure 🤣🤣🤣🤙🤙

1

u/Mindingmyownbizz 3d ago

You look big and strong to me😂😂😂

1

u/Tasty-Cockroach-5359 3d ago

Voice actor???

1

u/Ho_ViciouS 3d ago

Is that a keg of purple drink?

1

u/bilbohbagginz 13h ago

I mean.. the kids drink in your hand aint helping either

1

u/Responsible_Owl4661 11h ago

That is an awesome voice. And a strong sense of self.

0

u/Ok_Scallion_1975 3d ago

I was gonna say he looks like Kevin Hart but shorter

-3

u/Futaba_Sakura800 6d ago

Black man and grape juice. Is this the 90s again?