r/clevercomebacks 1d ago

Comeback + Advice. 2 In 1 For Inflation Times.

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6.1k Upvotes

115 comments sorted by

240

u/Pass1928 1d ago

The twats that do things like this to get people's hopes up deserve the hell they believe in.

81

u/weird-mostlygoodways 1d ago

Absolutely how is this not lying

33

u/Lewa358 1d ago

When you're convinced that everyone who doesn't follow your exact spiritual outlook will be dmaned to burn forever in hell, and that everyone who does think like you is enlightened for it... you're empowered to force your religion onto others.

Because to them, not being religious is akin to grotesque self-harm, and it's okay to barge into others' business if it's for their benefit, right?

7

u/Independent-Couple87 1d ago

Melisandre in Game of Thrones explains how the usage of sex appeal, illusions, mysticism and outright lies is something she considers valid to lead people to the "higher truths".

9

u/SonicTemp1e 1d ago

She was hot though, so I'll allow it.

5

u/YogurtclosetFair5742 1d ago

Until she wasn't after taking off the necklace that was keeping her youthful look.

2

u/AcousticOnomatopoeia 22h ago

They claim to believe in a magic man in the sky, I don't think truth is a strong moral tenet for these folk.

14

u/V0lirus 1d ago

I don't even get the rationale behind it. What is the thought process that makes someone do this?

"Wow, being saved from eternal damnation by Jesus feels so good. He wants me to spread this feeling to everyone. Because he has been so good to me, I'm going to spread the word to strangers.
But how?
I know, what better way to show someone how caring and loving Jesus and his followers are, than by tricking and disappointing some hard-working person. Surely that will get them interested in the teaching of Jesus....
Nothing intrigues people more than when someone screws them out of money. By being an absolute twat to someone, I will be the best example of people of my faith and make others curious to what it means to be part of this community..."

Yes I know many will say there is no rationale behind it, but that's wrong. The people that made this are doing this deliberate. The fake note literally acknowledges that it will disappoint people. They know what effect their note will have.
It just baffles me that someone can think something like "Tricking and disappointing people is the best way to introduce them to the message of Jesus".

3

u/Keldaria 18h ago

They do it for the reaction. Plain and simple. The same type of people who enjoy doing this are just cheap, religious versions of online trolls. They don’t expect or even want you to have a religious epiphany. They just enjoy the feeling of pretending to spread the word and “do good” while pissing off people. If you get upset about it then you’re attacking their religion. They are shit stirring professional victims.

233

u/aesoth 1d ago

This happened to a friend of mine, she kept it in her purse. The next time the same customer came back, she gave it back to the woman and said "you left your garbage here last time, please don't litter".

100

u/-jp- 1d ago

It takes a real taste for spit to come back to a restaurant where you left a $0 tip.

23

u/Freshies00 12h ago

Leaving this is not the same as leaving a $0 tip. It’s decidedly more sleazy and pretentious

33

u/aesoth 1d ago

They don't think it's $0, they think it is worth everything.

Which makes them misguided.

19

u/Bootwacker 13h ago

No, they don't think that. They aren't misguided and they know exactly what they are doing. They are self cheap, self righteous pricks.

If Jesus is real, he has a special place in hell for people who hand out fake money with his name on it.

2

u/aesoth 12h ago

Hmm. I think they really are that special brand of stupid that they think this is going to save someone. One time at work, this guy put all these booklets on the tables in the lunch room. They looked like it was a little book of facts about random things in the world on the cover, inside was a bunch of religious crap saying the answers were "God did it". We collected them and threw immediately. He literally thought he was going to be saving people with this. Some people are that far gone.

-56

u/MyPasswordQwerty 1d ago

So the customer "won". Considering how much she cared about it to perform all of that. In case if that really happened, which I doubt

31

u/Ok_Sink5046 1d ago

How did they win? They got to go back to the store and received I hope shit service and badly made food? Winning is so weird for you people.

-26

u/MyPasswordQwerty 1d ago

Yep. That’s weird BS to begin with. The best course of action would be to throw that away, forget it, and not play mind games with mentally ill people.

3

u/aesoth 1d ago

What did they win?

656

u/weirdgroovynerd 1d ago

In fact, you know what?

Swap it for some of the money in the church collection.

379

u/babygirlmilah 1d ago

Dropping these into the collection basket and taking out the real cash they scammed you out of is just balancing the universe. They said God would provide, right?

74

u/RUDEBUSH 1d ago

Amen

54

u/revdon 1d ago edited 1d ago

Ask the cleric if they can change a bill?

40

u/Able_Engineering1350 1d ago

I'd bet most churches swapped their collection plates for card readers 😔

17

u/PerformerFancy117 1d ago

My father in laws church has a Venmo code on a laminated card attached to the plate 🤣

19

u/PuzzleheadedHeat6859 1d ago

And then they put service charge + tip.

24

u/AbleEmily 1d ago

Nothing says “Jesus loves you” like making sure your server can’t afford gas home.

18

u/soombra_nuube 1d ago

Just making change for a fifty.

8

u/kvltmagik 1d ago

You and I would be great friends.

165

u/ImBeingArchAgain 1d ago

That would require me stepping foot in a church let alone one that passes out a collection plate

44

u/revdon 1d ago

Call and ask how they feel about “render unto God what is God’s and unto Cesar what is Cesar’s”, and why the parishioners are conflating the two?

Ask if you can come ply your trade during their services?

7

u/SolenePetaline 1d ago

That’s an interesting angle to take! Sometimes mixing in a bit of philosophy with humor really gets people thinking.

6

u/revdon 1d ago

It probably counts as 'bearing false witness' as well.

3

u/shellexyz 1d ago

Sometimes these phony 50s and 100s have a particular church’s address, congregants are attempting to advertise for their cult.

Occasionally the pastor there is not a crazy person, and a call to him about what his congregation is doing puts a stop to it.

21

u/-jp- 1d ago

> God provides us with things money can’t buy.

Not food. Or heat. But “things.”

7

u/CreamFuture9475 1d ago

+1 holy damage.

23

u/AdhesivenessFun2060 1d ago

My buddy did this as a joke and didnt understand why the bartender didnt laugh.

24

u/calccv 1d ago

Chase ‘em down and give it back. “You need this more than me. And ask for forgiveness, while you’re at it”

35

u/LuckeyRuckus 1d ago

I feel like Jesus did, indeed, let you down...

25

u/-jp- 1d ago

> “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

Jesus be like “yeah I’m not with these guys.”

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

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2

u/-jp- 1d ago

You seriously wrote that entire insane diatribe and not once did it cross your mind that you might be jumping to conclusions about me.

0

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/-jp- 22h ago

You sure are jolly on the spot to call me “you guys” anyway. Get the fuck out of my inbox.

0

u/[deleted] 22h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/-jp- 22h ago

What part of fuck off are you having trouble understanding?

1

u/multiplevitamin88 9h ago

Peace be on you bro

16

u/VanillaMuch2759 1d ago

It takes a special kind of asshole to hand these out as tips.

12

u/BuckManscape 1d ago

People that do that should be put in stocks and pelted with rotten produce.

21

u/Rude_Date4007 1d ago

Drop it in their church’s collection plate on Sunday and see how much the pastor likes getting tricked lol

11

u/jorgerine 1d ago edited 19h ago

They are just evil. They lied to you. Servants of the devil —father of lies.

9

u/Acrobatic-Tomato-128 1d ago

When i worked at a grocery store i was collecting carts outside and someone had left one of these in a cart like a fake tip for me

When i picked it up and found out what it was all it did was increase my hate of church and organized religions and all the assholes who think this is a clever idea

It guarantees whomever you give it to will never ever go to your church or worship your god

10

u/jennaudrey 1d ago

I need to know what’s going on in their heads — what’s the theory of change at play here?

Is this supposed to make someone say, “Gee, I want to be like this AH who ripped me off! I guess I should check out their church”? How is this shitty event supposed to inspire someone?

I do actually belong to a church, but I don’t believe in proselytizing — IMO I think just being a genuinely decent person is how people should “share” their faith.

3

u/kylepo 21h ago

Saving the waiter's soul is secondary to saving a few bucks.

2

u/shipow89 1d ago

I needed to hear this

u/EthanielRain 40m ago

God's light shines from actions, truth

I dont believe, myself...maybe if there was more light to see from but there is not. In my experience churches are the darkest places

6

u/AgainstSpace 1d ago

This is bait-and-switch - they are grifting for Jesus.

6

u/Mr_Presidentman 1d ago

Give it back to them next time as change

9

u/Giovannis_Pikachu 1d ago

Ahh, yes. Abhorrent subterfuge from a Christian organization disguised as a lesson.

8

u/macontac 12h ago

Someone used to drop the 20 version of these in the toy and candy aisles of the dollar store I used to work at. Kids would get really excited, then really disappointed when they got to the cash register with it.

I loathe these kinds of Christians .

u/EthanielRain 44m ago

"I'm making kids cry & ruining their day in God's name" totally tracks with modern Christianity. Empathy is a sin, let the kids starve fuck em

6

u/ArkyvIO 19h ago

When I worked as a server, one of these started my deconstruction. No joke, I hate it, but it pushed me further away from religion so there was a positive side to it, even though they still deserve their hell.

10

u/SamuelVimesTrained 1d ago

How is this not counterfeiting?

Using this suggesting it is real money?

(probably some legal loophole exempting religions from this)...

But yes - put these on the collection plates / baskets of the churches .. they will (we hope) get the message, eventually.

3

u/Ratdrake 1d ago

Because unfolded, the size is a large enough difference from a real $50 that it isn't considered a close enough facsimile to be counterfeit.

5

u/Emotional-Win-3036 1d ago

I never accept a tip that looks too generous for the provided service. If it looks to be good to be true it is. I know some jobs depend on tips but mines doesn’t but some people feel like giving you a few bucks it’s cool people are so conditioned too bad service they don’t recognize it’s part of your job.

5

u/BeTheirShield88 1d ago

I would put their name on it so folks know 😂

3

u/rebri 1d ago

I always hated the hypocrisy of doing this. They come in parties of 20 or more, use the love of money to purchase the restaurant experience and then leave this crap behind telling YOU that you are going to burn in hell.

5

u/ilolvu 18h ago

If they paid cash, report them for using fake money.

4

u/derpplerp 1d ago

Find out the customers address and give it back to them.

3

u/yellow251 1d ago

Someone who gives you tracts or similar literature (or worse, just leaves it out in public) doesn't care about you at all. If they cared about your eternal resting place like a true Christian should, they'd have the balls to try to talk to you about it.

Not dump trash, run away and hope for the best.

They are "checking the box" that day for themselves. To make themselves feel good.

6

u/Zeth22xx 1d ago

I think it's funny church's hate when you leave these in the tithe jar.

5

u/2nd_Inf_Sgt 1d ago

Seriously, you can report that person to the feds for passing fake currency.

3

u/The_Undeniable_Worp 1d ago

In what world would that even work, I can only see it having the opposite of the intended effect

4

u/SchizoidRainbow 21h ago

Just claim that they paid their tab with this so it’s counterfeiting 

4

u/mmccxi 18h ago

Call the police and have charges pressed for using counterfeit money

5

u/Moist_Mixture4518 10h ago

That’s so obnoxious. They all think they’re good people and that they’re doing you a favor.

5

u/Delicious_Run_557 9h ago

What amazes me is the argument that Jesus will provide for you, my untipped waitperson. But me? I need that money. 🤔

5

u/Antagonistgrievance 1d ago

typical christian move. they do it all the time. as someone once said, I'll take the biker gang with tattoos over the Sunday crowd any day.

6

u/Smile-a-day 1d ago

someone did that, the church freaked out enough that it made the local news. They went off ranting about “inflation by satanists” and what not.

3

u/Niaso 1d ago

That's how I folded a real $50 once when I left it as a tip. I figured the waitress would pick it up expecting it to be one of these religious tricks.

3

u/naughtygirllyyx 1d ago

That comeback turned a $50 tip into a charitable donation real quick

3

u/lodemeup 1d ago

I’d sit through a church service to pull that shit.

3

u/Happy-Medicine-3600 22h ago

Leaving This as a tip is fucking evil. Imagine if this showed up in your paycheck.

3

u/Silence-of-Death 20h ago

lol in Germany this can be illegal under certain circumstances

3

u/CarpenterOverall2590 20h ago

Jeezus I'm so fucking inspired now. FILL ME UP LORD!

3

u/Potential-Salad2970 12h ago

Assuming you go to church

6

u/Beneficial_Middle_53 1d ago

I love these comments

2

u/Timelordturle 1d ago

You should legally be able to do what's Stewie did to Brian in family guy after he owed him money to the people that give you this

2

u/Tall_Singer6290 1d ago

But that would entail going to church.

2

u/Droseraaa 1d ago

Shouldn't this be considered passing counterfeit bills if they are leaving it in a situation that actual money is expected?

This is completely different from a loose bill on the ground Jesus prank.

2

u/Mike0fAllTrades 1d ago

This should be fucking illegal

2

u/ChaoticForkingGood 1d ago

I used to be a server. Nothing made me angrier than this kind of bullshit.

2

u/supernovadebris 23h ago

grifters scam.

2

u/Powerful-Ad8026 23h ago

I loved getting the pamphlets as tips./s Especially when those cowards would leave them and dip when I couldn't see them

2

u/IndustrySufficient52 17h ago

I’ve had a customer do a similar thing and when I went to unfold it, there was nothing to unfold. It was a half of a $50 bill. I was incredibly embarrassed because I was very, very grateful when they gave it to me and I must’ve said ‘thank you’ and ‘are you sure’ a thousand times.

2

u/Juan_in_a_meeeelion 2h ago

Report them for passing counterfeit money.

1

u/Bonk_No_Horni 1d ago

I'd go to church for the first time just to give that back.

1

u/javoss88 1d ago

I agree with this tactic

1

u/sanityfordummy 1d ago

I absolutely would be petty and determined enough to do this even with a bit of commute. Nice little envelope and everything. I'd be laughing so goddam hard all the way home.

1

u/UncleGarysmagic 1d ago

That $50 design was replaced thirty years ago.

1

u/YogurtclosetFair5742 1d ago

I hate people who do that. Ones I've seen were like 10s or 20s. Never a 50.

1

u/Aggravating_Prune653 1d ago

Pay living wage!

1

u/runarleo 1d ago

That requires going to church and I only get one sunday a week. Fuck that.

1

u/doodling_scribbles 1d ago

Completing the circle means going to church, but I already have a bank. The only difference is when I make a deposit, I can still make a withdrawal.

-1

u/herbieLmao 1d ago

This is actually good, im on jesus‘s side here.

Stop this stupid tipping culture, they try this shit in europe now as well

-19

u/CamelliaValisse 1d ago

that's a wild tip for sure. who knew folded bills came with a side of advice?