r/clevercomebacks 1d ago

Evident Reason.

Post image
25.5k Upvotes

283 comments sorted by

u/BelleAriel 16h ago

Love this comeback. Post approved. You can stop reporting it now.

829

u/askantani 1d ago

Pretty strange all this attention for details coming from a person who eats dog food with her bare hands.

240

u/Worldly_Babyy 1d ago

HR: Why were you late? Me: My racism took 30 minutes HR: You’re fired

65

u/PlumieShade 1d ago

that's a bold move, had a friend who got fired for a really bad excuse once too. Some people just don’t think it through

75

u/Named_after_color 20h ago

I was once 20 minutes late for a catering shift, my manager storms up to me and yells "You're late, what's your excuse?"

My early 20s ass says "No excuse, kinda just fucked up."

Without missing a beat he points a finger in my face, glares into my eyes and yells "That is the most honest answer I have ever heard!" And just does a 180 and stomps off.

53

u/TheWingus 20h ago

I missed the bus one morning in high school and figured, well if I'm gonna have to walk to school I'm going to at least get something to eat on the way. So I stopped at the bagel shop, which was on the way.

I got there late and walked in to Chemistry class and my friend goes, "Guess where Wingus was!" and she said "Yeah, why were you late?" and I just said, "Breakfast" and she goes, "Oh don't tell me that..."

So later I get called into the office and the vice principal who knew me from way back and was an all around great guy asks; "Why were you late yesterday?" to which I said, "Well I missed the bus and had to walk to school, so I figured if I was going to walk, I didn't want to walk AND be hungry, so I stopped for breakfast" and he goes, "Well on the sign in sheet you wrote..... well, you wrote breakfast. So you should be commended for your honesty, but you know that's not what this is" and I just said, "Hey, do what you gotta do" and we shook hands and I walked out.

At the end of the year he called me down to the office from class and all my classmates gave me the "OoOoOoOo what'd you do!?" and I just went, "I dunno". I got to his office and he told me how proud he was since we'd known each other since I was in 7th grade and had me autograph his poster from our high school musical that I starred in.

12

u/misterchief117 17h ago

That's a fun story and I'm glad you shared it.

10

u/arequipapi 15h ago

I once called in sick (about an hour after I was supposed to be at work already), and my boss asked, "be honest, are you just hungover?"

Me: ....yeah.

Boss: fair enough, thanks for being honest. Don't let it happen again

2

u/sugaree53 9h ago

Decent boss.

11

u/MaybeIwasanasshole 15h ago

So did she ask every one of them what their religion was (because I can honestly see this vile person actually doing that) or did she just go, brown=muslim?

u/Environmental-Win836 7m ago

That’s not even an excuse that’s just a really shitty reason

18

u/Straight-Job5413 23h ago

For MAGA, that’s actually a qualification

15

u/badcookies 23h ago

MAGA: You're hired!

10

u/fortytwo-schmortitwo 1d ago

it's haram to have a muslim drive with alcohol even in a closed container, transporting alcohol,, so they probably are just sparing a sin to any muslim driver.

this isn't a new issue people

the retirement party for Sgt. Gerinarldo tonight, bringing a bottle of scotch.

1

u/_clever_reference_ 22h ago

What does your comment have to do with the comment you replied to?

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24

u/Puzzleheaded_Run2912 1d ago

laura can dish it out but falls apart the second someone points out her own weird behavior

3

u/Butterscotch_Cloud 18h ago

I don’t disagree, but I have to wonder…

Would you feel better about the dog food if she had used utensils?

6

u/Jewel_Jades 1d ago

Lol the irony is doing all the heavy lifting here.

284

u/Classic_Kangaroo4312 1d ago

That's actually a solid excuse and even a qualification for a raise in the Republican party, other than pedophilia.

52

u/lenswipe 1d ago

what about fraud?

72

u/Fabulous_Mousse_7592 1d ago

That’s requirement,not an excuse.

1

u/Lalamedic 19h ago

Oh my sweet summer child.

65

u/rasta_rabbi 1d ago

As a South Asian Catholic, we no doubt would have been rejected as much as our Muslim friends.

63

u/TrulyOutrageous42 22h ago

99% chance she had ZERO idea about their religion and just saw brown people and got real racist about it.

19

u/Shamanite_Meg 18h ago

Yeah, I was going to comment that this was islamophobia and not racism, but then I realized there was no way for her to know if her taxi driver was muslim without also being racist (unless she asked every single one of them if they were muslim, which I doubt lol)

1

u/LunaticScience 3h ago

Is there a generalized term for "racist" but against other religions?

There's general terms like racist and xenophobic. And there are terms specific religions like islamophobia or anti-Semitic.

There's bigot, but that is super general. I Don't think there's a term for what I'm describing, and it's odd that there isn't.

2

u/SphericalDrain 22h ago

Indian bro?

7

u/IndependentBig7050 20h ago

No. He's Outdian now. Indian is when you live inside India. He's no longer Indian. He's Outdian.

4

u/ta394283509 19h ago

how long have you been saving that joke

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133

u/DominionGhost 1d ago

Im pretty sure her boss approves of the racisim. I think the only thing that would please him more is if she stopped at the school and picked him up a 4th grader.

53

u/ComprehensiveHavoc 1d ago

A Muslim cabbie in NYC is as American as apple pie. I am surprised/wish she hadn’t found a ride at all. 

8

u/FuhhCough 23h ago

Apple pie isn't American

35

u/Beelzebeetus 23h ago

having sex with it is.

Because it can't consent.

6

u/42_65_6c_6c_65_6e_64 22h ago

You probably don't find them very old either

9

u/Chaosmusic 16h ago

We took it from somewhere else. That's as American as it gets.

11

u/StuTheSheep 20h ago

This happened over a decade ago, and Uber banned her for the tweet.

4

u/DopeAbsurdity 19h ago

yeah this is so old it's pre-jigsaw-face

9

u/Academic-Treacle3162 1d ago

While shooting some others.

1

u/Crivens999 5h ago

Now now, got to make sure it’s not their own kids, otherwise fine. In most cases I’m sure…

1

u/DominionGhost 2h ago

Her boss isnt that discerning.

1

u/Crivens999 2h ago

I meant her own kids. Hmm, take one for the team I guess

38

u/Informal_Cream_9060 1d ago

With so many Muslims around wouldn’t you feel unsafe? Aren’t they all terrorists hell bent on jihad? Your saying they’re just driving around trying to make money like everyone else?

7

u/Anthaenopraxia 21h ago

Aren’t they all terrorists hell bent on jihad?

We kinda need a jihad. A Butlerian jihad.

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18

u/rock_and_rolo 21h ago

How does she know their religions?

She doesn't. She just means not white.

30

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/worldspawn00 23h ago

I can't fly in a tube full of demons, buy me a $17M private jet!

40

u/Charming-Report1669 1d ago

54

u/Sufficient-Reply9525 1d ago

Yeah she tweeted this back in 2017 and Uber and Lyft responded by banning her for life

32

u/AwDuck 1d ago

You know it’s bad when uber thinks you’re a piece of shit.

5

u/Kordell_11 22h ago

They don't care if you suck as a person. After this went viral they had to ban her ass to not look evil themselves.

6

u/AwDuck 22h ago

There is that, but Uber seems the type to just sit back and ignore the situation because banning her would mean they would miss out on her patronage - for a brief period of time, of course. You know she just rolled up a new account and still uses Uber. It’s strictly performative.

9

u/naonatu- 1d ago

she can tell a person's religion by looking at them?

interesting "skill"

14

u/TomokataTomokato 1d ago

Just imagining the conversations.

"Need a taxi?"

"You're brown. Are you a Muslim?"

"Uh...yes."

"Next."

17

u/thekyledavid 23h ago

There’s 0 chance she actually asked if they were Muslim. She 100% decided just on their appearance and name

2

u/TomokataTomokato 22h ago

Absolutely which is why the imagined conversation is so absurd.

3

u/Adezar 22h ago

This is definitely someone that assumes brown = Muslim.

1

u/TomokataTomokato 22h ago

Yes...kinda the point of the imagined convo because it's so ridiculous.

6

u/Flaky-Jim 1d ago

To be fair, I don't think any cabbie would want to pick up Jigsaw.

7

u/someoldbagofbones 1d ago

Her boss is cool with it.

4

u/Away_Stock_2012 1d ago

Her boss and most Americans support her racism

4

u/GuardianOfBlocks 19h ago

I mean she could be the change and become a cab driver. Problem solved.

5

u/Turak64 17h ago

I'm guessing neither company shows religious belief in their app, so what they really mean is "I couldn't find a white person"

15

u/xc2215x 1d ago

Sorry boss, I'm racist.

11

u/dingleberrysquid 1d ago

Imagine being an Uber driver and you go pick up your fare and it’s The Terrifyer.

3

u/TheDopeMan_ 1d ago

NYC has been like this since before I was born. All cab drivers were stereotypical middle eastern.

3

u/CLOWNFLOGGER 1d ago

She just didn't want to blow a brown guy for a ride.

3

u/red286 22h ago

Anyone wanna bet most of them were just non-Muslim Indians?

Like how do you know on sight that your cab driver is Muslim? Did you ask? Because Muslims don't wear anything that would outwardly identify them. My guess is she saw brown skin, heard a foreign accent, and just went "MUSLIM!"

2

u/Overly_Long_Reviews 19h ago

Many were likely Sikhs. Attacks on Sikhs were a big problem in New York state in the immediate aftermath of 9/11. Ignorant and hateful people taking out their anger on their fellow grieving Americans. The perpetrators didn't care who they were hurting, as long as they were different.

3

u/A_Nonny_Muse 18h ago

Don't be so sure about that.

My father used to run a concrete construction business. For reasons, he shut down the company and sold it off. He never ran another company again.

But he knew everything there was to know about it. Companies begged him to run crews, offered him tons of money. But he would run a crew only on one condition - that there would never be a black person on the crew.

Of course, no company could promise that - it was illegal AF after 1964. So my father remained limited to grunt work until he was too old to keep up with the younger workers.
He could have been making bank his whole life, but chose to stay poor the rest of his life due to his own damned racism.

Funniest part is, he had to work right alongside black people, but he would never tolerate one working for him. Nothing about him ever made any sense.

3

u/Important_Ant_Rant 18h ago

So what you are saying is we should invest in diversity, to give minorities better chances to find better jobs?

6

u/Business_Usual_2201 1d ago

I feel bad for her. Imagine no one giving a rat's ass about you, so much that you begin to hate yourself and everything around you.

To feel any kind of human connection or validation, you turn to other small minded, miserable people to form some kind of bond.

I wouldn't have been late - but then again I don't wake up every morning and stare into a mirror looking at someone else's face.

2

u/Maximum-Magician 1d ago

The main things is thinking that’s an excuse you can tell your boss 

2

u/Legitimate_Peach3135 1d ago

I’m fairly certain they’re happy she passed, no one wants jigsaw In their backseat

2

u/K-Shrizzle 1d ago

Thats okay Laura, nobody needed you at the press conference

2

u/aeb1971 1d ago

Can't Jigsaw here rig her own transportation from some contraption?

2

u/goforawalk456 1d ago

Downtown Manhattan is like the most connected place in the country to transit, almost certainly faster

2

u/VicGenesis 1d ago

There is, in-fact, the Subway system. But then you gotta be underground with the browns I guess.

2

u/MrsCarmelaGiunta 23h ago

Why doesn't Billy the Puppet just ride her tricycle?

2

u/and_off_she_fucked 23h ago

My office transferred me to NYC for over a year, so I have plenty of experience with NY cabbies.

For the most part, they're great guys, but if he's a perv or a psycho, he's always a white dude. Never had problems with Muslim cabbies. Always polite, pick up on social cues instantly whenever I don't feel like chatting, and a few showed genuine concern for my (white girl in my 20s at the time) safety. But like a solid 5% of white cabbies were scammy, or pushy, or flirty.

Although I can't imagine anyone seeing Loomer's face and wanting to flirt with her.

2

u/JuniorAd1439 21h ago

Hi Brit here. This isn't real is it? These people aren't actually real? It's a meme or something else I don't understand surely.

2

u/MagnificentBastard-1 21h ago

Every bit as real as Nigel Farage. 🤷‍♂️

Edit: He is real, right? 🤔

1

u/sumboionline 19h ago

Clacton has absolutely the least serious politician ever hellbent on making parliament act like a clown show, and then they also have Binface

2

u/JustARandomGuy_71 21h ago

I don't know if in America is different, but I am sure that cars don't have a religion.

Except in the Pixar movies, maybe.

2

u/j____b____ 20h ago

It’s probably not even the reason she was late. Like most racist tropes, it’s just scapegoat.

2

u/osumba2003 19h ago

So what, she was just repeatedly flagging down cabbies for 30 minutes straight, asking each one about their religious affiliation, then told them to buzz off because they told her they were Muslim?

And how the fuck would she know if an Uber driver was Muslim?

2

u/Couchman79 19h ago

Laura is becoming insignificant background noise and she's back to LOOK AT ME tactics.

2

u/ProfAsmani 19h ago

This is what Germans probably said about Jews jn 1939. Laura is a Nazi

2

u/RGQcats 19h ago

I imagine they all told her they were Muslim so they didn't have to deal with the crazy.

2

u/experientialsponge 19h ago

Aaaand, they didn't send someone to pick you up Laura because, well, you're completely unimportant.

2

u/ApprehensiveDouble52 18h ago

Just imagine being this pathetic in general 

2

u/Dull_Huckleberry4576 17h ago

Muslim is a religion not a race???????

2

u/ConnectArtichoke8152 17h ago

That's just pathetic, I cannot imagine being so racist that you are willing to be late for your job just because you don't want a Muslim driver. That just sad right there and she posted that without a doubt thinking (and sadly correctly for some) that ok and she justified.

2

u/Caliente_Racer 16h ago

"Thanks for pulling over - I'm really in a hurry. Are you Muslim? Christian? Hindu? Jew?"
"Ma'am, in this context, I'm almost exclusively Cab Driver. Did you need prayer and counselling, or did you need a ride?"

2

u/platinumvonkarma 16h ago

that's what she says. More like every single cab she hailed stomped on the accelerator when they saw her face, warped with hate as it is. 

2

u/BaronWombat 9h ago

She should be convincing her racist, ignorant, and utterly mad brethren to move to NYC so people like them can get timely service!

The 'Free market' seems to annoy all Conservatives when it doesn't benefit them immediately.

2

u/fr3nzo 9h ago

Imagine thinking Muslim is a race...

2

u/VixxenFoxx 6h ago

I want to know if she personally asked each person thier religion or if she just dismissed them for being brown. Racist piece of shit.

2

u/EitherChannel4874 1d ago

There's no high ground when you support jabba the rapist pedo.

3

u/whydatyou 18h ago

imagine being so dumb that you think muslim is a race.

3

u/BluCurry8 18h ago

🤔 it is almost as if hatred based on race or creed is basically the same damn thing!

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u/MericanSlav25 1d ago

To be fair, Muslim isn’t a race.
But I honestly wouldn’t care, a driver is a driver. Just get me where I’m paying to go.

18

u/No_Solid_3737 1d ago

To be fair, muslim isn't a race, but most racist americans treat it as a race, so they are racist.

4

u/JasonRBoone 1d ago

Indeed...most Americans automatically think of people from the Middle East.

However, Indonesia has the highest population of Muslims.

2

u/MericanSlav25 19h ago

I hear what you’re saying. I just tend to be a stickler for technicalities.

17

u/polar_nopposite 1d ago

It's still racism if you think about it for more than 2 seconds.

How do you think she is determining whether or not a driver is Muslim? I can guarantee you she's not politely asking.

2

u/Critical-Cost9068 23h ago

If your name is Muhammad, you might be a redneck

2

u/clutchmajor 20h ago

If someone is rude to me for being a white Christian, is that racism as well? Because I could use that card up my sleeve.

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1

u/Masrim 13h ago

True, this would just make her a bigot.

1

u/Worldly-Bed3550 1d ago

What a fugly looking animal

1

u/Bods666 1d ago

More likely none of them wanted to transport Saw anywhere.

1

u/Lower-Elk8395 1d ago

If that's your reason for being late to a press conference, you probably shouldn't be at a press conference...

1

u/Healien_Jung 1d ago

Oh Meg Mucklebones. When will you stop.

1

u/atomkriegjabitte 1d ago

Lmao why did she tag those companies? Does she think they give a fuck?

1

u/FatiguedShrimp 1d ago

... How many cancellation fees do you think she paid?

It feels like Uber or Lyft would intentionally want to match 2-3x to get that extra $10-20 off riders like this.

1

u/No_Solid_3737 1d ago

this is much worse than Idiocracy, at least in Idiocracy they still had a black president

1

u/Dolphin_Spotter 1d ago

I have a relative who won't go to the dentist because (and I quote) 'They all.have foreign names and I want an English dentist'

1

u/Sad-Confidence-276 1d ago

Satan fired her? Seems unlikely…

1

u/remmy84 1d ago

Considering who her boss is I think she’ll be ok

1

u/tomvelle 1d ago

isn't this against the TOS of uber and lyft and enough to have your account banned?

1

u/FireLadcouk 1d ago

Thankfully he works for the nypd. So they’d understand 

1

u/HauntingBalance567 1d ago

The US is going to have to use this excuse if it ever catches up to history

1

u/Junior052781 23h ago

She's late because no one wanted to pick her up.

1

u/artisanrox 23h ago

i've taken cabs in NYC with Muslim drivers and they left me alone more than this administration and its weirdos ever did.

1

u/Bioness 23h ago

This is very old. Like 2017 old and a repost.

1

u/Snoo18846 22h ago

How did you know they were Muslim

1

u/mowtowcow 22h ago

She can always apply for a cabbie job if she wants it to be more white .... and also melted plastic face. They need representation too.

1

u/PlantyPenPerson 21h ago

If I was a muslim uber driver I wouldn't pick up that freaky alien monster Loomer anyway

1

u/LeBeastInside 21h ago

Shes such a sweet soul, she didnt want to traumatize them, so she waited for someone like herself to inflict the pain. 

1

u/AssBoon92 21h ago

Well, her job is to be racist, so she probably would get a raise.

1

u/rufud 21h ago

GOTTEM

1

u/Flat-Fun-7298 21h ago

Imagine she was simply wearing a mask the entire time

1

u/Ardencroft 21h ago

This IS insanity.

1

u/ntb5891 21h ago

It’s almost as if we need immigrants or something

1

u/Awake_b4_Sunrise 20h ago

I guess Muslims like to drive, who knew

1

u/Scared-Savings7651 20h ago

Bold of you to assume boss is not racist too.

1

u/vizag 20h ago

Well thanks to all the cabbies the nypd press conference was free of her for 30mins. Yay?

1

u/Salmundo 20h ago

How do you look at someone and determine that they’re Muslim?

1

u/BothDivide919 20h ago

Muslim isn't a race kekw

1

u/SexcaliburHorsepower 20h ago

A few things... There's no way to confirm their religion without asking directly. Then, if we had none of these drivers around, we wouldn't magically have more white Christian drivers in their place. Instead we'd have a notable shortage of drivers completely. Lastly, if it's such a big deal, drive yourself or take the bus, train or whatever public transport you have available.

1

u/Effective-Turn-9103 20h ago

is she even Christian? I cant imagine the bible or Jesus appreciate her vanity and racism. if a religious person keeps it in their home and place of worship it’s tolerable, but once these idiots bring it into the real world they really need to be fined and given educational courses on every religion of the world and a course on astronomy

1

u/Popular-Ad-3278 20h ago

Ok how on earth is this not rasist as f

1

u/unclecaveman1 20h ago

How does she know their religion? Did she ask? Or simply make assumptions based on name?

1

u/Exxtender 19h ago

"Sorry I'm late because my face kept running away when I was trying to nail it to my skull this morning."

1

u/accwork8723 19h ago

imagine being so stupid you don't know muslim isn't a race

1

u/Prudent_Rice7840 17h ago

Imagine not knowing NYC has PUBLIC TRANSIT

1

u/JapaneseStudentHaru 17h ago

Anyone hiring Loomer would be quite happy to hear something like this. Probably why she posted it. She got a job in the White House because of all the bullshitting and brown nosing she did on social media.

1

u/Gr8tOutdoors 17h ago

i mean considering who she thinks her boss is…

1

u/Revolutionary-Wish27 17h ago

I mean, if you can't find any that means you probably wanna go the opposite direction!

1

u/toeachbyeach 17h ago

Luckily Muslim isn't a race. I would prefer my cab drivers to not be Christian or Muslim.

1

u/baggagefree2day 14h ago

This BS. You would have to cancel so many drivers and pay for the cancellation fees. You don’t know who you get until the ride has been locked in.

1

u/makaay786 14h ago

Still can't believe she's 33. I dunno if it's dog years or what

1

u/sr2k00 13h ago

Not wanting to give money to religious people is totally okay

1

u/Important-Raccoon119 12h ago

Her bosses approve.

1

u/Humble-Pineapple-329 12h ago

Did they all wave the Quran at her and shout praise Allah when she requested a ride or is she just assuming based on appearances.

1

u/Old_Purpose2908 11h ago

Laura Loomer is nuts. Why give her media exposure? That's what is wrong with social media today. Every nut is given exposure. Forty or fifty years ago, such people were ignored unless they committed a crime. If that happened, they were committed to an institution That's what should have happened to Loomer and Trump.

1

u/PeggedUnlimited 11h ago

To be fair, it might just be a little Xenophobia. He might not have assumed their religion from skin colour, and from other religious items that are completely irrelevant for driving a vehicle from A to B - but indicate Islam. 

Islamophobia is xenophobic, not racist. Unless he assumed a religion from race, in which case he’s both. Everyone always forgets about xenophobia….and it is just as serious my friend!!! 

1

u/fastdbs 10h ago

I feel like her boss might require it.

1

u/Cosmicrelief0 10h ago

Islam is not a race lol this is Islamophobia

1

u/Dont_Eat_The_Homies 10h ago

She was late because no one would give her racist a$$ a ride.

1

u/PositronicShishkabob 9h ago

You mean a scale of racism is NOT part of an application to a right wing organization?

1

u/LEEALISHEPS 9h ago

I'd be embarrassed to pick up that horror show if I was a cab driver.

1

u/Realizt8010 7h ago

Real talk! Ppl dont even try to hide racism anymore and it seems to be ok for their sorry asses.

1

u/PainterEarly86 6h ago

"I'm not racist my door dash delivery guy was black"

1

u/CyberiadPhoenix 5h ago

This is gets reposted all the damn time...

1

u/Inevitable_Yam1719 1h ago

So like they have a sign on their back of their head that says, I’m Muslim

u/ArkhamKnight_1 7m ago

What’s most auspicious about the Lumey post is that, if any girl has the face that needs a veil, it’s Lumey’s face.

Please girl! Or is it a man??

1

u/santropy 1d ago

The boss of the USA is racist and a gRapist, so what can you expect.

1

u/4point5billion45 1d ago

Dear Laura,

"This is insanity" applies to you! You sound unhinged.

There you are wanting a cab, but your fear and loathing are flooding you with, well, fear and loathing that gets worse every time you see that the next cab driver is also Muslim!

I would be happy to ride with you in a cab with a Muslim driver. You will be safe the whole way, and when we get out we will find that it was just a ride in a cab. I'll pay.

Are you afraid because you don't know what to say if he says something religious?

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