I'm thinking of what I usually end up saying when I get the "But you have to take this MEDICINE for the rest of your life! How tragic!" response to my medical situation (necessary organ borken).
Like. Sure. But I've got the rest of my life to do it for, and that's pretty great.
A parent once told me they didn't like the fact that my anti depressants would alter my brain.
Uh, yeah I hope they do?
The parent came from a culture where that kind of medication is not accepted. They had this notion it would lead to brain damage or alter my personality. Which, yeah, I hope it does?
So many people act like the brain, by far the most complex part of the body, somehow can't ever have any physical issues, that any brain issues exist in some abstract "you", and thus are on you to fix, and thus using medicine to fix it is somehow lazy.
Mental illness is in your intestine. (There are neuroreceptors for things like seratonin and dopamine in your intestinal tracts) it’s basically your second brain.
It’s said roughly 90% of our seratonin is located in our gut. It’s called the enteric nervous system.
I just wanted to add something to the conversation because I have diabetes and mental illness.
Mine insisted I just needed to try harder. Get out more and all that. Like dude, my mental state literally has never corelated with anything I do. I've felt great on horrible days and horrible on great days. It is a chemical imbalance, no amount of effort makes a significant difference. The medicine does.
I can't even do what I needed to do to feel better without the medication.
Same parent thought I was just faking it. It was pretension because depression made me feel smarter or more profound or more interesting, or something. It was along the lines of "stop acting like that, it's angering me. You're just using it as an excuse to be lazy."
Knowing that my ADHD is actually an inbalance in my dopamin system helped me so much dealing with it. It made this magical thing that's different about me a matter of bio-chemistry
I always found it amazing that just properly acknowledging the problem gives some people the ability to handle it so much more effectively even when nothing has physically changed. It's like some glorious version of a placebo.
Same happened to me when I was diagnosed with a mild case of narcolepsy. Suddenly everything clicked into place and I started treating it as a medical condition I struggle with rather than just beating myself up constantly for dozing off.
Didn't even really change my sleep schedule or anything, but started feeling better just knowing there was an actual cause that I was up against rather than just being mad at myself.
It feels different when you've spent your whole life asking "why the hell am I like this? Everyone else (seems) to be able to do what they need to do, why the fuck can't you focus?" Turns out my brain is just like that, and just going a little easier on myself makes life infinitely more bearable.
I had someone try to scare me off of Electro Convulsive Therapy by saying it causes brain damage, and i was like "as opposed to how undamaged it is right now?" The near decade of barely managed depression was hurting me more than any shock could.
I hate this shit because so many people use it as an argument against hrt/removing your gonads ("but youll have to take it for the rest of your life! You'll be dependant on medicine!") Plenty of people are dependant on medication to live, and statistically you will be at some point.
People tend to act as if taking medication is a choice between being a perfectly ablebodied & neurotypical person vs someone dependent on medication when in reality the choice isnt "function perfectly vs function on meds" its "dont function at all off meds vs function enough to live"
Once I got on medication that actually helped I really was like "why are people raw dogging life without medication? Life sucks without medication, science is basically magic."
This is how I feel about my CPAP. Yeah it kind of blows (lul) that I have to wear this thing every night, but the result is that I don't die. I love that for me.
That's how I feel about my various medications. Like yeah, I gotta take them for the rest of my life. But the alternative is a slow painful death as my nervous system continues the excruciatingly painful decline as it feels like I'm part of the power plant's substations whilst losing more and more of my movement and respiratory function
But y'know, as my mother likes to put it on pumping myself full of poison and "many teams are worried about it" lmao
What’d you do to manage that? (While I love that my CPAP lets me get much better sleep than I’d get without it, I would also very much love to not need it.)
I am daunted by more tasks to do my depression making it hard to keep up with my list of stuff. I'm not sure if that's why other people ask that but it's why I do. I forget others arnt struggling with basic needs as much as I am
It's a tough balance - but sometimes that one extra thing added to the list makes the depression better, and ends up making the rest of the list easier too.
o yeah i know that. i know my life would be so much better if i could just do the things. doesnt mean i cant get myself to do it or not get overwhelmed. its fucking frustrating
My MIL complains about having to take meds everyday and I just wish I could get this same message across to her. That modern medicine has allowed her to live this long BECAUSE of the medications. She will still forget and act like it’s not a big deal but then complain when she starts suffering from high blood pressure and everything else that comes along when she doesn’t take her meds.. she really struggles to grasp the concept of daily medication, like she expects one pill to fix everything.
Whenever I have heard it I have perceived it as them talking about the risk of just dying if you have to survive on less money for some time. Like if you don't need to buy said medicine, you could find cheap ways of getting food and water and get by somehow till whatever financial troubles you were facing are resolved.
Water pick. Flossing is a pain in the ass with braces unless you spend twenty minutes feeding a strand of floss back behind each individual wire. Granted, you should still try, but a water pick is a god send
Yesssss, I second this. No patience for it for dental floss, but now I got a handheld water pick and I feel like I actually get everything out vs just cutting into my gums uncomfortably. Plus it takes me a lot less time than manually flossing.
It was after, but much less than the before, thanks. Had to shop around for a dentist that would give me more than the shots, as those don't do much to me. One that actually took me seriously on that.
I was awake for the whole process, but I remember about 10 minutes of it. I won't go into detail but I didn't feel a thing and it was sooooo weird.
When I got my wisdom teeth pulled about 14 years ago, I was out-out-asleep. 😆
You're a stronger person than I. I'm terrified of the dentist, and if I needed anything like that done, I'd need to be fully under the whole time or I'd have a panic attack, lol
The stuff they gave me was two pills of something called Halcion; some kind of benzo.
I was certainly freaking out till it hit and I forgot how to do a freaking out. 😆
But once they're all out, the dentist is more like a squeaky toy than a Myrddraal.
Ooo, interesting! Glad it went well. The tooth I had removed was a baby tooth, so not to stubborn to get out, but they only gave me one injection to numb it (I say that, but I did refuse the other cause 7 yr old me hadn't been told I would be subjected to scary needles)
Why does my brain focus on the "sensually" part of "consensually" first? That surely changes the image that comes to mind 👀
When I had my wisdom tooth removed, the dentist gave me a shot to numb it, but I was awake the whole time aswell. It was so awkward, I didn't know where to look at while he struggled to cut my tooth before removing it (root was curved like a hook).
Funnily for me, it's the opposite. I often don't notice morning breath, so doing my teeth in the morning feels like a chore, whereas at night, it feels nice to get rid of the days bits which are wedged in my teeth
Born with a v and had to start dialating in college. Never got why people consider it such a huge burden, it's such a passive activity. You can game while doing it even
There are also dilator sets with suction cup bases, but I think that assumes a high level of lower body strength and control so you don't, you know, go too deep too fast 😬
I mean, genuinely yeah. You should, frankly, be stretching most of your muscles daily. It's not good neglect stretching. That's the major factor behind loss of mobility in your senior years.
Keeping fit has always been a daily thing. I gotta drink water every day too.
This has been a hard one to learn, oh as I get older my youthful injuries might bite back and I need to....take care of my body??? The fuck that's supposed to mean!!
I mean....that's like most things isn't it? Want something nice and cool and awesome you PROBABLY gotta work at it day in and day out. So yeah you do you and get what you want girl.
I think you and u/proteanpie over in r/grimdank would get along very well, they're the resident meme purveyor and tend to have a relevant image for any given post
right. when i started T my mom was like "but youll have to do this for the rest lf your life!!" and I was like... i dont have to. i can stop anytime i want. but i choose to do a small little injection that takes five minutes a week to be happy and comfortable in my body.
Cis guy also on T, likely for the rest of my life too. I'm jealous of the injection lol, I have to apply gel every morning and it's a pain in the butt. And then be careful nobody touches my bare skin shoulder for the day. But I'm so happy to do it every day, because I remember what it was like to have no T at all. It beats the alternatives
The gel was awful when I did it. I don't know if you have this issue but I felt like the consistency was terrible. Like a mixture of Elmer's glue and hand sanitizer.
Though at one point after mentioning to my pharmacist how sticky thin the kind I had was they were able to order gel from a different manufacturer that was a lot better(plus it smelled really REALLY good)
I'm on xyosted auto injectors now and I'm never going back
Oh yeah that's an amazing description. It's especially unpleasant for me because I have a "thing" about my hands being sticky. So the whole time applying it is an exercise in telling my brain to shut up for 30 seconds and we'll wash our hands
Might talk to my pharmacist then too. I think I'll probably transition to injections eventually, I've only been on this for a couple weeks
Definitely yet another thing that I wish more doctors were educated on, but women's health is horrifically overlooked. I def like the "clinically diagnosed with a tight little pussy" better for trans ladies - much more positive connotation lol
Yes for anyone who is happy with their tight little pussy, like I am lol that is fine, but I know women who have struggled with just having no give and it is painful af. Even with me, I gotta get that foreplay going cuz if not, it gonna be a tight fit lol
It's fun when you have a baby and the vagina doesn't get the memo that there's no baby in there anymore no need to be so tight and just resets again. So more pelvic floor PT. By fun I mean fucking aggravating.
I'm just over the moon that this has been such a productive and positive conversation. The internet is an absolute pit these days and finding a spot that isn't completely flooded with hate is so refreshing for a change.
If any trans women out there are hesitant about bottom surgery because you’d have to dilate, you should know that lots of cis women have to do it too!
I’ve been living with vaginismus for as long as I can remember and didn’t get a proper referral and diagnosis until I was 28. I was doing it every day while I was in PT. Vaginas are just like that sometimes.
I recently went down a rabbit hole, curious about post op vaginas in MTF trans folk, and holy fuck they look incredible. They're perfect, they can take penetration, etc. Its absolutely incredible what medical technology has accomplished.
And then I stumbled on a video of a trans girl making a mold of her own... Unit... and then months later post op using that on herself. Quite literally effing herself. That was... Something.
Reminds me of the dude that lost his foot in a motorcycle accident and decided to make tacos out of it since it was his only opportunity to see what we taste like
I would normally not eat human flesh, but if my good friend lost their foot and really wanted their other friends and I to eat it with them, I'm not sure I could refuse.
If you're into that kind of thing, you can film and monetize! Its the only video of its kind I could find on Reddit (was curious after the first one if this is a thing?) and that video was WILDLY popular. lol
I occasionally get asked if I have regrets from bottom surgery. The realistic answer is no, I love the results. The silly answer is I joked about doing this and I regret not actually making a mold of it
That was actually part of what gave me the nudge to get me over the line for getting surgery, I'd spent decades telling myself the results weren't good enough (mind you, without actually doing research). Then I went down that rabbit hole and I was like "the fuck they aren't, look at these! I could have THAT?!?".
Afterwards, when my partner was looking at the results post-healing, they were like "huh... it just... looks like a vagina". She'd seen the same research pics I had, but I guess the reality of it staring her in the face hit different 😅
Me and my sexual partners have been kind of flabbergasted with my post op result. It just seems so normal and yet also amazing. I had no idea going in that it would feel quite so natural to be post op.
I suppose that if someone is going to do like 6 years of college and some more as residency, a surgeon like that becomes a bit of a perfectionist. A real vulvartist
Oh hey, this comment is back. I went to reply to it earlier and it disappeared mid-reply.
I'd think you deleted and re-commented but my upvote is still there 😅
Anyway: I'm not into that particular genre of content but that does sound incredibly appealing, not gonna lie. Here I was trying to figure out how to make a portal gun so I could screw myself, her method seems easier 🤔
Yeah, the video was actually extremely hot. Which is what she was going for lol, so good for her.
I had some insensitive wording when I first posted. I did not mean to phrase it that way, I was trying to praise how amazing they look, so fixed my wording and my comment was reinstated.
Its so easy to accidentally using belittling language. Gonna do better. ❤️
I thought it was insanely hot. I wasn't even looking for material for that kind of thing, really did go looking out of scientific curiosity, but I had to save that video for later.
Yeah, its not often, as someone who grew up with the internet and has been fairly adventurous in my browsing habits, that I see something new. Something that I'd never even thought to google.
After the first several months doesn't sex and masterbating also count as dilation? That seems like... not a bad thing to experience? Like oh no I just have to masturbate once a week.
Good for you. I can't be arsed to put on my retainers every night before bed. Too lazy. Sometimes I can't be bothered to shave. I really don't like my beard, but it just feels tedious sometimes.
The people who complain about doing something for the rest of your life are always so funny to me because you have to eat, drink water, and sleep for the rest of your life too but those take up significantly more of your time then doing something like medication or dilating. The one shot I have to do for testosterone every week for the rest of my life is nothing when I already have to do regular physical therapy exercises and take other medication daily for my issues. I'm pretty sure taking my shot every week takes less time than me taking my medication every day combined in a week does.
I also do pelvic floor exercises and I was born with the same gear. I do them because I don’t like peeing my pants when I fall down or run into walls, two things I do routinely. Don’t ask. 😅
I just had a hysterectomy 10 weeks ago and my pelvic floor is just weak and tight and yeah after I recover I'll probably need to do the physio on my own for the rest of my life.
That is free if chronic pain and chronic anemia and all the increasingly more systematic health issues they'd bring.
So oh no, not the minor inconvenience to keep being healthy for the rest of my life
I’m a cis woman who has to dilate because of vaginismus so I’ve always had a lot of empathy for trans women and felt like the argument that dialating made them “less real women” was stupid. Vaginas just be like that sometimes.
You know, I have been on the fence about depth. When/if I ever get the surgery, I wasn't sure if I wanted a full Vaginoplasty or a Vulvaplasty because I'd need to dialate, but when you put it like this, it doesn't seem so bad.
My major concern is access to HRT. If I get the surgery, I'd be reliant on the HRT and with the political climate, I worry I might lose access to it. At least right now if I lost access, my body would adapt.
I mean, most women lose their hormones at some point, it's just part of life. Would you really want testosterone if that happened? Also don't you think you'd be able to get it grey market. Or maybe stock up from a current prescription? Don't let a worry for one possible future with potential solution stop you from being happy.
And dilation, at least in my opinion is easily as simple as this picture, at least when you get over the initial recovery, which is just like physical therapy for many potential future non gender related things you might have to deal with in your life. But you can dilate while doing other stuff, including masturbation.
Regarding testosterone, my body had an adverse reaction to the T-blockers I was on. They lowered my blood pressure to dangerously low levels and I suffered from dizzy spells and vertigo.
So they took me off the T-blockers and my blood pressure stabilized but my body also started to re-masculinize. I've spent the last year trying to get my hormones back to where I wanted them. About a week or two ago I found out that my levels are finally on track now that I'm on injections. My Testosterone level was 9, my Estrogen at 232.
So yeah, while it'd suck, I can endure having testosterone since I've done it once before.
You're right in that I could get my HRT on the grey market or the black market, but I don't even know how I'd go about doing that.
I do have a stockpile of Estradiol pills that are left over from when I switched to injections so in the short term I'd be alright, at least for a little bit.
In any case, it's not just my concern stopping me. Realistically it's the financial aspect. It'd cost me at least $7,500 and I simply can't afford that right now. So worries aside, money is the major obstacle at this point.
But you can rest assured, I will pursue the path that feels right for me. If you told me 5 years ago that I'd be celebrating my 4 year anniversary of being on HRT on Labor Day, I'd have thought you were crazy. But here I am, 4 years in. When I started this journey, I didn't even think transition was possible for a genderfluid individual like myself, but again, here we are.
Just so you know, if you are in the US, you should be able to get your EV filled under insurance monthly but it should last you at least like three months. Meaning you can stockpile like 8 vials a year.
Eventually you only have to do it like once a week and as my surgeon told me, sex counts. So for me I don't see it being a problem either! I'm excited for that part of my life journey!
Ok but, is it actually for the rest of your life? I haven't looked but I figured it would be like a piercing no? Just until it heals is what I thought.
You can get to a point where you can drop the dilating exercises as long as you're having penetrative sex or using a dildo or something once a week or two. It's just that due to the way trans women's vaginas are formed, if they aren't stretched out every now and then they can become inconveniently tight or in the worst-case scenario lose depth.
Since I had a kid I do kegels every day so I don't pee myself 🤷🏻♀️ I don't have to use my hands but it's still just another regular maintenance thing for a body. Actually it's good for any genital type fyi, supports bladder health and sexual function. Aka do kegels and you'll help prevent ED.
The title of the post below this one in my feed was “lefty loosey righty tighty”. I just kind of subconsciously read it as I skimmed past, and then my brain went “wait what the fuck?” and I had to scroll back up to make sure that wasn’t this post.
Fuck me thats hilarious..... lol bad jokes...love this. Why should we feel ashamed to do something normal...people try make you or any trans fam ashamed can disrespectful f off
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u/FalseMagpie 22h ago
I'm thinking of what I usually end up saying when I get the "But you have to take this MEDICINE for the rest of your life! How tragic!" response to my medical situation (necessary organ borken).
Like. Sure. But I've got the rest of my life to do it for, and that's pretty great.