I was seven, I remember getting taken out of school but no one told me why. Being seven I just rolled with it and didn't ask any questions.
Several months later I was at my grandmother's with my family and they were talking about it on the news, showing the towers on fire.
I said "oh wow, what happened". My grandfather got, I would argue, unreasonably angry at me, practically screaming "what happened?!" In response before going on a tirad of asking me questions and being very mad when I didn't know the answers to them because I didn't know what was going on.
I was seven, and here I had a sixty something year old man being curt with me for not keeping up with geopolitical events. Worst part was none of the other adults spoke up for me. If anything they looked disappointed in me for, again, being seven and not keeping up with geopolitical events.
I'm 33 actually, was born in 1993 and actually redoing the math I was eight, not seven, think my point still stands regardless.
Also it's a bad memory, not trauma, trauma gets thrown around a lot but the actual definition of psychological trauma is something which occured to you that negatively affects your life in a way that is beyond your ability to cope. A classic example being PTSD from being in combat causing you to go into fight or flight mode anytime you hear anything close to a gunshot or explosion, even something as benign as firecrackers.
I don't get anxiety talking to my grandfather. I don't feel overwhelmed or unable to emotionally process the event, I don't avoid him out of fear of an interaction resulting in a similar event, hell i spoke to him last week.
He worked for the government at the time and was likely under a lot of stress. Doesn't make what he or the other adults did ok, but it was 25 years ago. These days it's just a funny, if bad, memory of how I learned what 9/11 was.
Literally the most quiet and stoic man I have ever know, so yeah it was very jarring. Probably why the other adults didn't do anything. If grandpa of all people is throwing a fit then I must have done something wrong. It's why me and him still get along because I have never seen him act like that before or since. It was obviously a one off deal probably caused by stress.
Yes, and heavy antidepressants because granddaddy was mean to them when they were 8.
It's a bad experience and you can actually understand why the granddad was mean once you are grown and think about it - the nation was hurting and when people are hurt they are irrational. I am not saying he was right, it's a stupid thing by any means.
As someone who had suffered with very deep depression for more than 10 years - take care of your mental health at any cost, but being depressed and irrational are 2 different things. As OP rightly said, it's a bad memory, not a trauma. An 8 year old doesn't like yelling in any capacity - whether it's for 9/11 or whether they've broken a glass on an accident - it's all the same. A child's soul is very delicate.
Therapy is like water - drink when you need it, but it can be just as dangerous if you overdo it. Seeking help for literally anything from a 3rd person is hurtful in the long run.
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u/Ralife55 14h ago
I was seven, I remember getting taken out of school but no one told me why. Being seven I just rolled with it and didn't ask any questions.
Several months later I was at my grandmother's with my family and they were talking about it on the news, showing the towers on fire.
I said "oh wow, what happened". My grandfather got, I would argue, unreasonably angry at me, practically screaming "what happened?!" In response before going on a tirad of asking me questions and being very mad when I didn't know the answers to them because I didn't know what was going on.
I was seven, and here I had a sixty something year old man being curt with me for not keeping up with geopolitical events. Worst part was none of the other adults spoke up for me. If anything they looked disappointed in me for, again, being seven and not keeping up with geopolitical events.