r/funny • u/laxusdreyarligh • 4h ago

His greed sickens me

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

17.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

322 comments sorted by

View all comments

633

u/kliikz 3h ago

Everyone thats saying this is sad and shit has never owned multiple cats. Some of them have absolutely insane food drives that make them not give a damn and when you have other cats it sometimes makes it worse just because they want all the food. I'd know, I have 5 cats, 3 boys and 2 girls, one boy and one girl are from completely different areas, have been raised from bottle-fed babies and are fed 3 times a day (normal portion sizes) and they STILL act like theyre starving even 10 minutes before one of their 3 feed times lol.

259

u/Shingro 3h ago

This is the correct answer. I too have seen cats that are extremely well fed go completely mental about food time, especially the more cats are around. There's no abuse evident in this video, everyone can relax

120

u/Tablesafety 3h ago

People make jokes ALL THE TIME about cats who are regularly fed freaking the fuck out and acting like they’re never fed at all.

Cats just have absolutely maniacal food drives. I always wonder about it when I feed my cat, how could such a fat little bastard be feeling to scream like she never eats- why is it standard cat software

59

u/chickenaylay 3h ago

I had to explain the "mother I am but skin and bones" meme to my girlfriend who just got a cat and is like why is she always meowing for food. Thought it was common internet knowledge at this point but guess not

4

u/Sorry_Koala_8181 2h ago

doesnt that get annoying over time? I think I'd always feel bad for them but not wanna overfees them either

8

u/ryumast4r 1h ago

I use an automatic feeder for 90% of my cat's meals, so when he gets that crazy food drive (all the time) instead of putting that energy towards the humans, he puts it towards the auto feeder.

Best decision we ever made. He thinks we aren't in control of his food, so he doesn't ask us.

1

u/stellvia2016 1h ago

Just make sure he never sees you fill the hopper I guess

1

u/Anonymous_Jr 51m ago

That's when you ARE in control, so technically wouldn't change anything until you forget to refill.

1

u/Many-Waters 5m ago

My girlfriend's cat started to slap the everloving hell out of her auto feeder. Eventually it started to drop little bits of kibble when she bashed it enough.

So she had to get rid of it and go back to feeding her manually because she just would not stop beating on the feeder.

1

u/Tablesafety 1h ago

The cute tends to make up for it

1

u/Asshai 9m ago

It's just that people underestimate how smart cats are. We keep a strict schedule (set time for food, can be later if we're not home, but cannot ever be earlier). So yeah, our cat comes meowing every day at 5PM because she knows it's the time. If she comes at 4:50, we resist the urge of "buying peace" by giving her the food earlier, but I have a trick: I pretend that I believe she wants affection instead of food and go all Elmyra on her. Since she's obviously not in the mood, and I get more annoying to her than she is to me, she concedes defeat and waits until I'm ready to give her food.

The thing with cats is never to let them win. Once they know there is a way, they will do their best to exploit that weakness.

18

u/LibertyDochas 3h ago

I wound up getting an automatic feeder. My cat has a full on lobby strategy, and it was becoming a problem as I work from home. Dispenses a little bit multiple times a day and keeps the beast off of me until it’s wet food time.

15

u/Crimmeny 3h ago

I have an automatic feeder too. I keep it under a side table so they can't knock it over and it has various claws marks on it but has never been defeated.

17

u/LibertyDochas 3h ago

I’ll give that to my fella. He’s food motivated but not aggressive. He only stares at the machine like he’s waiting for divine intervention.

5

u/guitar_vigilante 2h ago

My cat pulled it away from the wall until the power cable disconnected. After having to rewrite the settings multiple times because of this I just gave up.

6

u/Crimmeny 2h ago

My one is battery operated (and from the days before everything had to be Bluetooth) and the batteries last for about 2 years before they need to be replaced. But if I didn't have it under the side table I'm sure my monsters would have tipped it over.

14

u/dkysh 2h ago

Mine sticks his paw inside the feeder chute to steal food from his future self.

3

u/dBlock845 2h ago

He knows he will eventually get that food + interest.

1

u/_le_slap 1h ago

Hilarious

3

u/decidedlyindecisive 2h ago

I've always free fed mine and they never freak out about food. I think it gives them a sense of food security.

When I had family cats they would always freak at meal times and act like they're starving.

6

u/Hummingbird3471 2h ago

When I free fed my cat he ended up getting obese. He's a fat little fuck though, he's obsessed with food. But he did lose some weight. He has 1.5 lbs more to go for the vet to be happy, wish us luck everyone. 

1

u/decidedlyindecisive 1h ago

Good luck. Well done on getting his weight down, it's not easy!

4

u/_le_slap 1h ago

One of my cats can free feed and control her intake.

The other eats til she barfs and then eats some more until she's too fat to wipe her ass and instead leaves streaks of butt butter on the carpet...

3

u/Tablesafety 55m ago

Butt butter.

When I was a kid I learned how when baseball men leave the dugout their teammates pat them on the bum, so when our cat was fixing to go outside that day I patted him on the bum and ended up with some kind of brownish liquid on my hand. Definitely too watery to be considered butt-er

Of course I sniffed it. Its been many many moons since that fateful day, but it even to now in my middle age is the FOULEST thing I EVER smelled. Do cats have anal gland expression??

2

u/stagier_malingering 34m ago

Yes, yes they do. And they can also get clogged.

Do not be the one to unclog if you can.

1

u/_le_slap 46m ago

No clue lol

3

u/RoastedPickledGoose 2h ago

My cat has never finished her food, and leaves it out and comes back later. She grazes. She’ll walk into kitchen, eat 3 or 4 bites, then go lay back down.

I feed her in the morning and at night, and never once has her food bowl been fully empty (other than, you know, when I clean it every day).

2

u/StuckOutsideWall1347 1h ago

Mine as well. He always has food in his bowl and never finishes it. Some cats just don't eat that much.

4

u/kart0ffel12 2h ago

it is the same with people. honestly I would be eating all the time if my common sense wouldnt stop me. so imagine an animal..

3

u/Faiakishi 3h ago

I have a pet bird and he will fly to me and steal beakfuls of my food as I bring it to my mouth. Meanwhile he always has a small portion of whatever I'm eating on his own bird plate. (a teacup saucer) Their greed knows no bounds.

3

u/Simon-Says69 1h ago

Then those damaged cats need to be fed separately. especially if someone is irresponsible enough to have like 10-15 of them, or however many the OP example has.

It isn't so much about the cat being totally feral, which according to some bad pet owners here is "normal" (it is not). It's about having so many of them that no one cat can possibly get enough attention to be healthy.

They are suppose to be pets, not a feral nature preserve.

2

u/KindHabit 2h ago

My underweight cat barely used to eat her food, until my roommate with a cat moved in with us. 

She couldn't eat fast enough if that other cat was anywhere near. 

1

u/Theratchetnclank 3h ago

My cats go crazy for food. One is more food crazed than the other but because they get so excited it makes the other go crazy too.

53

u/CroissantEtrange 2h ago

This is still the wrong way to do it.

They shouldn't feed 10 cats at once in the same room with only one bowl of food

8

u/FrostyD7 2h ago

But then you can't post funny mealtime content. What's the point of even owning them!

-12

u/macaronysalad 2h ago

and the kibble. stop feeding cats dog food people. you've been duped by the pet food industry. that shit isn't for cats. for teeth health, feed them hard treats or brush them.

10

u/Caelinus 2h ago

Kibble is fine given three things:

1: It needs to be a brand that actually tests their food, and is not loading it with carbs.
2: You have a cat that will drink water on their own.
3: You feed them the correct amount, as it is super easy to overfeed with it.

If those things are true, it does not cause them any harm or shorten their lifespans or worsen their health. 1 is also true of wet foods, 2 can be addressed by adding water to the kibble if it is a problem, and 3 is also a problem with wet foods, albeit lesser as it takes more effort to do.

There is a lot of fear-mongering about pet food, but the evidence against meat-based dry cat food is really thin. If you address the water issue, and control food intake, then most vets and scientists think it is fine.

1

u/efficientlyclueless 1h ago

My cats crave kibble, I feed them canned.. Which they do eat.. But then they occasionally eat from the dog bowl, with my dog at the same time. Maybe it's more of a power move.

6

u/Competitive-Appeal73 2h ago

Yeah. I got one cat from the pet store at 9 weeks old. She takes her time coming to the bowl and will graze throughout the day unless she actually is hungry right then. My orange tabby is ridiculous. I got her as a stray and this girl will abuse me until i put that food in her bowl. Even after I feed her, if she hears me opening a can, she's right where I am thinking I'm gonna feed her again just after feeding her.

1

u/Caelinus 2h ago

Once my cat realizes it is close to time to be fed, usually because my dog starts staring at me and wagging her tail while trying to act polite, he will walk over to my legs and start bapping me with his paw over and over while meowing. But not normal meowing, but a long, drawn out, and high pitched meow that sounds a bit like a siren.

Needless to say, I do not miss feeding times.

1

u/Competitive-Appeal73 2h ago

Yeah my Tabby will just bite the shit out of my feet lol

5

u/Lopoloma 2h ago

A buddy would feed his cats in separate rooms.
The trouble maker would get fed in the kitchen doors closed. The "normal" cat got its bowl in the living room.
When he took in a third cat from his mother that one turned out to be food dominant too and it took him some time to get them used to a different setup, but all 3 were fed in different rooms.

That way all cats got their share without having 2 fatcats and a probablymalnourished one.
That's how it works. Allowing a cat to overfeed is just abuse as it causes lots of health issues that harms the cat and causes a fortune to address.

3

u/Minimum_Honey2247 3h ago

My friends cat is so food motivated she would tear open a loaf bread and attempt to eat the entire thing, the kitchen basically had to be locked down to the crumb. She would eat exactly like this at dinner time, certifiable shovel, only cat in the house since a kitten, she just looves food.

1

u/SecondhandStatic 36m ago

Ok, but you see how that's not normal animal behavior, right? It's caused by food competition during kittenhood, starvation, or abuse. Your friend needs to take their cat to a pet behaviorist, that level of constant anxiety is going to catch up with their cat eventually.

3

u/DiabolicallyRandom 29m ago

You're missing the point. There are ways to handle this appropriately, like keeping them out of the feeding room and setting up the bowls for each before letting them in.

If you can't do it you probably have too many pets.

2

u/Practical_Dot_3574 2h ago

Chickens are the same way. I have few hens that wait patiently around the outside of the group to eat, I then have a few that will do as this cat here did, jump up on my arm and peck at the feed scoop.

2

u/efficientlyclueless 1h ago

I open a can and black cat comes running and starts chowing. Open the second can for striper and black cat claims that one, at least he allows striper to eat from the first can. I have disciplined him in the past when he tried to claim both but no way that will work with this qty of cats

1

u/Key-Vacation-2397 3h ago

I was fighting off my brothers cats with a broom and traps at some point because they were always bullying and stealing my mother's cats food. They had access to as much food as they wanted at my brother's (neighbouring) house (the bowl was always full and they don't overeat), they just prefered the veterinary diet food the senior cat needs.

1

u/Gabby-Abeille 2h ago

I have one cat and you'd think she is being starved by the way she screams bloody murder when she wants food. Even if she just ate. Even if her bowl is still full. She wants us to watch her eating, and she purrs while eating like some weirdo.

1

u/FaveStore_Citadel 2h ago

Yeah cats are also way more difficult to train not to be assholes about food compared to dogs, so I don’t really judge cat owners with food vacuum cats

1

u/AvantSolace 2h ago

I have two cats. One is chill and is typically content throughout the day. And the other is ALWAYS asking for food and trying to ransack unattended plates, even if she just got fed. Had to get them an automatic feeder with two separate bowls just to keep the peace. Thankfully the chill one is bigger and can protect her food portions if needed.

1

u/dBlock845 2h ago edited 2h ago

Yeah I took in an abandoned cat last year who really doesn't give af when food is involved. He will straight up get his ass kicked by the other two cats trying to bully them off their food. He gets swatted at and hissed at endlessly until they get bored and he gets the food lol. If you feed them all at the same time he chugs his food down so fast that the other cats don't have time to eat. I bet if I walk to the kitchen right now he is sitting on the counter facing the hallway waiting to yell at me to give him food. Zero chill when it comes to food, but also wouldn't harm a fly.

1

u/Adezar 2h ago

Yeah, we joke about our cats acting like they haven't been fed in weeks while licking their lips from the food they just finished.

1

u/IcyTheory666 2h ago

So you have 5 cats, 3 boy humans and 2 girl humans?

1

u/blarch 1h ago

Chickens are the same way. Feral chickens will rush to the food and eat more just to get what they can before the rest are able to eat.

1

u/Low_Reception477 1h ago

Yeah I’ve got one who will come screaming for food, nip at the back of your arm like a little psycho if you are too slow putting it down (his sister needs meds every meal and he objects heavily to that happening first), scarf everything down and then immediately goes to scream and try to escape the house to find mice/rats to snack on. He weighs 8 lbs but I’ve seen him eat breakfast, catch and eat a Norway rat, and then come back in and scream and cry about dinner being late.

(Disclaimer: he’s an ex-feral, and a ratter on a very rural property. Attempts were originally made to keep him inside but he throws himself into closing doors and under peoples feet trying to escape if we don’t let him out regularly, and screams and cries and breaks just. A ludicrously large quantity/$$ of things. So we gave up.)

1

u/Simon-Says69 1h ago

has never owned multiple cats

Dude, no responsible pet owner owns this many cats. There is something MASSIVELY wrong here.

Even at an animal shelter, they won't all be stuffed together, fighting over one bucket of food.

This is massively irresponsible, and you trying to defend it just means you should not own pets either.

1

u/AtomicBLB 1h ago

I have never seen cats be so food aggressive outside of the internet. So my anecdotal story I have 3 cats (all raised from kittens, 2 feral, 1 indoor) and they have always had 24/7 access to food. They're 10, 8, and 6 years old.

Only one gets a very small attitude if she can see the bottom of the dish and that's meowing a few times until I follow and then waiting patiently for me to fix my slight to her. None of them would qualify as even tubby but I also don't feed them garbage throughout the day like many do.

1

u/Hytyt 19m ago

When I was younger we had 7 cats. 2 of the females gave birth to litters of 7 ON THE SAME DAY.

From that point on my parents have just kept cat food down at all times

1

u/M002 18m ago

At what point is it too many cats that makes someone an irresponsible owner?

1

u/GrumpyCloud93 17m ago

My stepsister had 2 cats, and the moment they heard the electric can-opener from the other side of the house, they made an insane mad dash for the kitchen...

1

u/Asshai 14m ago

Then again, most people agree that dogs need discipline, but it never occurs to them that cats too. They're super stubborn, persistent and patient, which gives the impression that they don't understand consequences, but they do. I,d grab that kitten by the skin of the neck, say loudly and firmly NO, and blow on his face before putting him back down. Or I'd get a spray bottle and make sure they know I'm ready to use it.

1

u/ClownDance 12m ago

This many cats shouldn't be fed with one bowl though, generally you want a separate bowl for each cat.

That said there is little context here, because it's a karma farming account, and we can't really know for sure what's going on, for all we know it's a shelter.

0

u/TheMayanAcockandlips 3h ago

Yeah, some cats are just like that no matter what you do.

-4

u/agacthegreat 2h ago

My cat's bowls are always full. There is no "feeding time". They never go mental; they dose according to their own individual needs. They have no issues with weight or aggression around food, because it is not scarce in their perspective.

6

u/DemonicOne980 2h ago

That unfortunately doesn't work for all pets. One of my cats if we just leave food out doesnt stop eating and will cause himself to throw up half the time

0

u/agacthegreat 1h ago

Even for prolonged periods of time (I mean a month or two)? Adjusting to a new normal for humans takes quite some time; the same goes for animals. It definitely would not work if food is scarce and then, suddenly, there is a week of abundance. Neurologically, there has been no time to adjust to the changes, and the brain operates by usual parameters: "grab everything while you can".

2

u/pannenkoek0923 1h ago

Good for your cats. Mine were on the streets for the first few months of their lives, and despite them being regularly fed in the last few years, they never got over their food-scarcity instinct.

2

u/AceOfPlagues 4m ago

You are getting downvoted because it is true that free-feeding is not good for the vast majority cats due to obesity and behavioral issues, yes there are exceptions but they are not as common as you think, and generally I would primarily not recommend it just because makes it harder to moniter changes in your cat's health.

To address your other point, I will fully admit that outdoor cats do have less problems with obesity related disorders and indoor cat owners need to play with thier cats more and offer more stimulation and exercise, however, outdoor cats can still get obese, and if they do it is difficult to control what they are eating. There is no national veternary association that recommends ad libitum feeding, even in nations with mostly outdoor cats.

And of course obesity is also less of a problem for outdoor cats, who live 5-10 years shorter on average.

I am not saying you are doing anything wrong, maybe this is all what your cat needs, but please consider wether having roughly appointed feeding times might not hurt.

2

u/decidedlyindecisive 2h ago

Same. I've heard it doesn't always work even if they're used to it from kittenhood. But I've never experienced that. My cats always have access to food and are incredibly relaxed about it. They also don't wake me up for breakfast etc

1

u/agacthegreat 1h ago

Exactly. Interestingly, one of my cats was homeless for the first year of his life, and he almost immediately learned that food was always there and became very easygoing about it. My subjective observation is that everybody I know who doses food has cats that go wild, but everybody who keeps the bowls always full never has any issues. Maybe it is just a wild coincidence. :D

1

u/Caelinus 2h ago

Most cats will overeat in that situation. Not necessarily to the point of being extremely obese, but cats get overweight really easily.

Some small percentage do not, so some cat owners get lucky like that, but they are rare in the total population. It is not really a scarcity issue, rather it is just a genetic thing. They do not know how many calories they have eaten, and in nature food can be intermittent, so when it is always available their instincts tell them to eat more than then they actually need.

-2

u/agacthegreat 1h ago

If it were a genetic thing, it would be observable across the population - it is not. But it could be true for cats that spend their lives without access to the outdoors. Maybe that is the variable here, because my experience is only based on cats that have full access to their natural environment. Because, just like humans, animals who are fully stimulated have fewer eating disorders and addictions, overall healthier habits, and better-regulated nervous systems.

1

u/Caelinus 1h ago

It is observable across the population, most cats overeat when free fed. That does not mean there is zero variation in traits in the population.

0

u/agacthegreat 1h ago

Most cats do not overeat when free-fed. Where are you taking this claim from? Where I come from it is the norm; everybody does that with very few exceptions (usually only special breeds or indoor cats) - and there are not thousands and thousands of fat cats.

2

u/Caelinus 48m ago

First, being overweight does not mean obese. Most overweight cats do not look overweight to the average human. The difference can be as little as 1lbs. 

Second, most domestic cats are overweight in the first place. Cornell has it at 50-61%, and the FDA has it at 61%. Free feeding is also the most common denominator in cats being overweight and especially obese. While there do not appear to be studies giving exact numbers in this specifically, the inference is clear. 

Again, this does not mean all, but considering that while 60%-ish of cats are overweight, but only something like 30% of owners think their cats are overweight (based on the 2022 study from the Association to Prevent Peg Obesity survey) it is fairly clear that many people do not recognize when their cat is overweight. 

I am not trying to throw shade at any particular individual who has a cat that does not overeat, they do exist. But it is pretty clear that the idea that cats will not overeat if free fed is completely and utterly incorrect.

1

u/BrewerAndHalosFan 1h ago

We had to stop that when our cat got to be 4 pounds overweight (14lbs when she was supposed to be 9 or 10lbs). Even during that time she would try to get her greedy paws on every food she could get into. She's particularly fond of butter.

1

u/agacthegreat 56m ago

Sorry to hear! Take care of your little butter cat - and definitely dose food for her. Just out of curiosity - does she have access to the outdoors? I am just wondering what might be the reason why my experience seems so different from others here.

2

u/BrewerAndHalosFan 40m ago

Nope, it's illegal in my city.

It's also dangerous for the cat and local ecosystem so I am not a fan of letting my cats out in general

2

u/agacthegreat 11m ago

Interesting to hear. I come from a place where cats are part of the local ecosystem, and it is encouraged that only people who can provide outdoor areas take on cats as pets. So, a very different context. :D

0

u/Frazzledragon 2h ago

Shouldn't cats be fed 5 times a day, with smaller portions? The smaller the animal, the more often they tend to eat.

-2

u/Freud-Network 2h ago

Food aggression in animals is a common theme, just like people overreacting to animal behavior.

2

u/Emergency_Revenue678 2h ago

Food aggression is something you need to train out of your pets. It's not something to be tolerated.