r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 4h ago

'My Teacher Told Me Global Warming Is an Opinion': Missouri College Student Stunned After Quiz Rejects Global Warming as a 'Fact'

thenerdstash.com

8.3k Upvotes

463 comments

r/nottheonion • u/NinjaElectricMeteor • 18h ago

Matt Berry is now a sentient Ikea shelf in Skyrim

pcworld.com

3.8k Upvotes

150 comments

r/nottheonion • u/barak181 • 18h ago

Man Sentenced to 2 Years in Prison for Strangling Theatregoer Who Sang Along During WE WILL ROCK YOU

broadwayworld.com

3.5k Upvotes

209 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Bakeneko7542 • 2h ago

Backyard breeders are trying to trade Frenchies for Pokémon cards at conventions

esports.net

116 Upvotes

12 comments

r/nottheonion • u/jordan1978 • 13h ago

Police search for suspect seen on video using pool, hot tub and ‘intensely interacting’ with rubber duck

azfamily.com

490 Upvotes

50 comments

r/nottheonion • u/novagridd • 1d ago

Man Who Had Sex on Download Festival Ferris Wheel Learns He's All Over the Internet From His Boss

fashiontimes.co.uk

3.6k Upvotes

473 comments

r/nottheonion • u/metatalks • 2h ago

Robots protest in Poland over AI regulation concerns

aljazeera.com

37 Upvotes

4 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 20h ago

Man Who Had Sex on Download Festival Ferris Wheel Learns He's All Over the Internet From His Boss

fashiontimes.co.uk

823 Upvotes

107 comments

r/nottheonion • u/jordan1978 • 20h ago

Man arrested after allegedly sexually abusing koi fish in Bangkok

khaosodenglish.com

855 Upvotes

165 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Background_Spirit7 • 15h ago

Vehicle with ‘FAT CHICKS ONLY’ text sought in investigation

wlbt.com

251 Upvotes

28 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SappyGilmore • 1d ago

Californians projected to spend $675 million on OnlyFans this year: study

ktla.com

2.6k Upvotes

290 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 1d ago

Marriott Guest Says Hotel Insisted a Rubbermaid Laundry Cart Was a Baby Crib

fashiontimes.co.uk

3.3k Upvotes

138 comments

r/nottheonion • u/No-Fisherman6800 • 1d ago

Ryanair CEO compares rival airlines to 'rapists'

brusselstimes.com

745 Upvotes

80 comments

r/nottheonion • u/RareEarthPetal • 1d ago

Pensioners attack Devon traffic lights over wild 'deadly weapon' claims

devonlive.com

566 Upvotes

53 comments

r/nottheonion • u/O_O___XD • 18h ago

Crocodile Head Found in Luggage at Italian Airport

ground.news

86 Upvotes

17 comments

r/nottheonion • u/McSix • 1d ago

Turns Out ‘Stop Hiring Humans’ Was Terrible Advice

builtin.com

9.9k Upvotes

310 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Ok_Bed7611 • 1d ago

Ontario Science Centre laying off entire science department

ctvnews.ca

6.3k Upvotes

194 comments

r/nottheonion • u/pppppppppppppppppd • 16m ago

Blooming dangerous: Drivers accidentally break speed limit as overgrown foliage obscures road signs

media.rac.co.uk

• Upvotes

1 comment

r/nottheonion • u/Sidnature • 2d ago

Backlash Grows as Texas Republican Convention Flashes Hasan Piker Underwear Pic on Jumbotron: 'They Want Him so Bad'

thenerdstash.com

24.6k Upvotes

1.7k comments

r/nottheonion • u/CheezTips • 1d ago

Russian Orthodox Church Sends Bones of Medieval Warrior Prince to Ukraine Front to Boost Troop Morale

themoscowtimes.com

582 Upvotes

113 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AccurateSource2 • 1d ago

Russia sends bones of medieval warrior prince to Ukraine front to boost morale

straitstimes.com

1.1k Upvotes

113 comments

r/nottheonion • u/smitherenesar • 2d ago

National Guard member arrested after drawing gun on fellow soldier in D.C.

npr.org

2.2k Upvotes

153 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AlwaysBlaze_ • 1d ago

Anthony Hopkins thinks we all think too much

cbc.ca

554 Upvotes

84 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Commercial_Way_3816 • 1d ago

Thief dials cops, gets arrested to escape from crowd in pursuit

newindianexpress.com

119 Upvotes

2 comments

r/nottheonion • u/whiskey06 • 1d ago

Driver whose car was impounded for excessive speed on Sea to Sky then loses taxi for same reason

vancouver.citynews.ca

95 Upvotes

8 comments

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
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Click here to view a list of sites deemed unreliable by our moderator team.

See our FAQ page for more information on our rules.

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